Category Archives: Angst

New Failure Modes

4 Replies

Chemistry can be very humbling.  A person can be absolutely sure of how a new reaction or process will turn out and yet be absolutely dead wrong.  Process research is an engine that consumes dollars and churns out new failure modes in one big pile and positive results in a smaller, steaming heap. 

I have been working with ionic compounds that have weakly coordinating anions.  I’m finding that my finely honed intuition built from years of shame, suffering, and cruel humiliation is turning up flat wrong more times than I care to admit. A house of cards.

More than a few of these compounds seem to participate in the formation of a liquid phase in the right combination of solvents.  If I were keen on monkeying with ionic liquids, this would be just dandy.  But the product is a solid and I want to purify it by xtallization.  I’m tempted to categorize these liquid phases as clathrates, but I’m unclear if the definition will acommodate such a thing. In each case, a normally miscible solvent pair is required to split out the new phase when the weakly coordinating ion pair is dissolved in the more polar solvent. 

There is a happy ending to this.  I was able to isolate solid product from a 2-solvent system, but sadly, I would be hunted down and shot like an egg-sucking dog if I disclosed it.  Bummer.

Clancy’s World of Spooks

6 Replies

It is like a disease. I find myself drawn to Tom Clancy novels.  I picked up Rainbow Six the other day. Other than his Op-Center series, I think I’ve read most of his books.  Clancy is one of the most successful writers in this genre.  Airport bookshops have been good for him.  When I was in the travelling phase of my career, his books were great for passing the time in airports.  Millions of us have read his books.

And millions of us have read Clancy’s idealized interpretation of how the clandestine world operates.  I won’t indulge in a superficial crtitque of the genre or his writing. But I would like to suggest that a population of readers who have followed the characters and themes of his immensely popular books might have developed certain impressions or even, shall we say, expectations, of the those who practice this tradecraft.

After reading his highly detailed and richly woven stories, one might develop the idea- subconsciously, mind you- that the clandestine services were capable of doing anything they set out to do.  Could it be that decades of Clancy’s stories have adjusted the expectations of countless readers in tems of what was possible in the world of the black arts? Could it be that such fiction has inadvertantly prepared our minds in such a way as to accept the assertions of government leaders when they tell us that hostile states have certain threatening capabilities? Surely, with all of the assets and talent at our disposal, when our elected leadership says that a threat exists, can’t we be certain that the conclusion was based on well placed human assets and has been through a series of tests and filters to verify the accuracy and magnitude of the threat? 

For those in power, the notion of “expertise” is not only useful, it may even be critical.  We all want to know that our safety is in the hands of experts. It is a comfort thing. Leaders need to be able to assure the population that experts are on the job and all will be well. 

I would suggest that there is no such thing as “expertise” as an intellectual destination.  There is only a continuum of confusion.  And some of us are more confused than others.

Worlds in Collision- Idiots Out Wandering Around

7 Replies

I had the great privilege of doing my post-doc along side some smart and colorful folks.  Fellow post-docs from various parts of the world. In particular I was fortunate to have worked with some folks who came to the USA as Soviet scientists in 1990. Later all but one went back as Russian scientists.  This one in particular was a stunning beauty from near Lake Baikal in Siberia.  She was a first-rate experimentalist who was built like a fashion model from Paris.  She had “The Look”.

I recall the time she and I went to the Symphony.  She was dressed in a short and slinky green dinner dress with a plunging neckline below those electric eyes and high cheekbones.  I was a freshly divorced and mildly oafish- an ethnic Iowegian- chronically depressed and wrapped accordingly in a poorly fitting blue sport coat with tattered khaki slacks.  Just call me “Goober”.  OK. That’s Dr. Goober.  Of course, this was Texas so I fit right in …

As we entered the lobby, I could hear the necks creaking as heads craned in our direction with the odd slapping noise as jaws dropped to the floor. My colleague had that affect on people. Well, I’m not actually stupid. I could tell we were at the receiving end of many furtive glances.  But they were not admiring glances. They were questioning glances. As if to ask “What is that goddess doing with that imbecile?”  Now, being recently divorced and not unaccustomed to being stomped in the head by women, I took it in good humor and in stride.  For this lovely Russian beauty and I were dear friends and colleagues and it was my great privilege and pleasure enjoy the concert with her that evening in that stunning auditorium in San Antonio.

Today she is the Director of Chemistry for a startup pharma company. And me, well I’m a blogger.  Some months after this occurance, I attended a Gynocology convention with a friend who was doing her residency in OB-GYN. But that is another story.

30 Years of Star Wars

1 Reply

It has been 30 years since the release of the movie Star Wars. Back then I had just started a job at the local movie house as a projectionist. We had two Phillips-Norelco 35 mm projectors with Xenon arc lamphouses and 6000 ft reels. We’d splice 3 x 2000′ shipping reels onto one reel so that there would be fewer changeovers. 

The theater owner put down a $10,000 non-refundable deposit on the print and paid 90 % of the ticket sales to the distribution company for the first 6 weeks. So for the first month and a half, we made our money on popcorn, cokes, and Junior Mints.

In 1977 Star Wars was THE blockbuster of all time. We had sell-out crowds every show for the first 2 weeks. The concession girls could barely keep up with the popcorn demand. Other theaters were popping corn for us in an attempt to keep up. We blew through 5 gallon syrup cylinders like spent cannon shells on a battleship in Guadalcanal.

I ended up running Star Wars 186 times. But it was far from routine.  The projector chewed up a bit of the end of reel three, the famous dumpster scene. Unfortunately, I was operating the night the print failed. The projector shredded about 20 feet of film (18 inches/sec) in several places and the resulting film break  caused the automation to switch on the houselights, close the curtain, and start a Neil Diamond 8-track tape playing for the audience. After 3 seconds of bewilderment, the crowd turned ugly and started shouting and storming to the lobby to complain. The film stopped at a very exciting point and the customers were none too happy.  I didn’t venture downstairs.

I was a casualty of Star Wars and actually had to be taken to the hospital during the run.  In trying to investigate the source of some troublesome image chatter, I got my finger caught on a sprocket and ran it between the teeth and the guard post.  Ended up with a meaty gash that required stitches.  Of course, I never told George Lucas…

The print grew progressively worse over time. The dumpster scene would chatter through the film gate in defiance of our best adjustments.  But despite this, few complained when they walked out of the theater. It remains a great movie.  Eventually, as a college student I moved up to a 4-plex theater with platters and automated Simplex 35’s.  This night job paid for much of my BA in chemistry. I read much of Solomons Organic Chemistry in the projection booth.

The Murder Room

2 Replies

I have attached a cast picture of our recent production of The Murder Room.

murder-room-cast.jpg

It turns out that there is a small number of people walking around who do several plays per year.  They have no real designs on Hollywood or Broadway.  They do dinner theatre or community theatre just for the pure joy of it.  Despite the fact that the work is gratis, local, and not run by Spielberg or some other big name, it is nontheless a sizeable ordeal to prepare for. 

I am grateful that not a single bit of rotten vegetation was thrown my way and that at least some of my lines drew a smattering of laughter.  I did it with a British accent somewhere between Terry Thomas and Rex Harrison. 

The sensation of this kind of performance was what I would imagine ballroom dancing might be like. A fluid and coordinated dance of repartee, movement, and subtext. To have performed with experienced actors was great experience and I am eager to do it again.

Frequently wrong, but never in doubt

2 Replies

More and more I find myself afflicted with fellow travellers along the timeline who are never in doubt of their judgement, but they are frequently wrong nonetheless.  There has to be some archetype from literature or Greek mythology that symbolizes this. Maybe there is some character from a Greek tragedy who, as a leader, was destined for a fall as a result of such a trait. Perhaps someone out there has a nominee for this position.

One sees examples of this in business organizations not infrequently. Some openly discuss their views, but often with the presumption of making a disclosure of “what we’re going to do”.  Others sit quietly, rarely contributing to open discussions where ideas are put on the table for dissection.  These fellows might listen to others debate, but they prefer to sit quietly and observe while others reveal the content of their thinking. Rather than adopt or synthesize new concepts openly, they will tend to note commentary that aligns with their pre-existing view. This is where that most loathsome of characters, the yes-man, can gain a strong foothold in an organization. 

In low gear

5 Replies

Th’ Gaussling is in low gear this week due to extra-curricular activities. I’ve been in rehearsal since October for a play that opened last night- The Murder Room by Jack Sharkey. It’s community theatre, which is the only way a hack like myself would have had a chance. This is my first time on stage and it has been quite an experience. Acting is a lot like flying an airplane- it is exhilirating and terrifying all at the same time.  And like flying, you can fall from such a height that it takes a long time to smack into the ground.

Acting requires a type of learning that is rather different from learning chemistry. First, there is rote memorization. There is no escape from knowing your lines. With experience the actor can develop the character around the structure of the dialog. 

It is nowhere near as easy as it looks, and it does require a large investment in time and effort. But in the end, performing with other actors and pulling off a complicated show is quite satisying. 

Keystone Cops in Boston

Leave a reply

The mind still boggles at the recent cartoonish response of Boston authorities to the “viral” marketing campaign by Turner Broadcasting.  Turner Broadcasting’s Cartoon Network evidently sponsored a targeted marketing campaign for its “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” program.  In doing so, their 20-something hirelings violated local sign ordinances by hanging electronic signs on bridges and that is where it stood until police were called and one of the displays was “disarmed” by a controlled bomb squad explosion.

The tipping point came when someone looked at the sign and saw a circuit board, wires and something that turned out to be a battery.  Evidently trained in the school of television drama bomb squadding, the officer on the scene triggered the terror response protocol.  God help us if this local constable ever looks in his computer and sees wires, capacitors, and other mechanisms.

I have witnessed much smaller versions of this first hand.  What appears to be an emergency leads to the arrival of the police and the fire department. This is the part where civil liberties fly out the window, and often enough, sensibility as well. The police establish a perimeter and secure the “scene”.  If the incident involves materials unknown to the police, then they will notify the fire department and then pull the trigger on the hazmat team.  If there is an object that seems suspicious, then they may trigger the bomb squad people. 

Obviously, the fine people who serve the public in the capacity of emergency response or law enforcement are trained and dedicated to their jobs. But what happens is that these people are given precious little latitude in their range of responses to “situations”.  What happens then is that they tend to do what is called erring on the side of safety, which means that when in doubt, call the bomb squad or the hazmat people. 

But when a situation leads to the arrival of the bomb squad, then the natural conclusion of the authorities is that whatever caused this response looks like a crime and should be so investigated. So, irrespective of the merits of the officer-on-the-scenes judgement, there might arise a presumption of foul play and the whole law enforcement apparatus is activated to supply evidence to the district attorney for the filing of charges on the alleged wrongdoer.  In fact one might cynically argue that, especially in these dubious circumstances, it is in the best interest of your career to be able to rationalize the release of these resources as a response to criminal activity. 

So, these two hapless fools who hung the signs in Boston are now at the pointy end of the law enforcement stick and the authorities seem to be bent on saving face through the exercise of grim and officious talk of terrorism. What a mess.

Astronaut burns up on re-entry to life

2 Replies

The sad story of astronaut Lisa Nowak continues to unfold.  This thing seems to have many layers of complexity to it. It is interesting to see how the news media have approached it. People in the news business seem to have a set of tools in their bag from which they shape stories.  Some reporters are grilling NASA about fraternizing policy while others focus on the lurid detail about the diaper.  Perhaps someone will eventually make the connection with the Mercury program and how the astronauts wore diapers on these early flights.  It is just a concession to the pragmatics of long endurance travel. Pretty clever, really.  But regardless of her clever determination, using violence to resolve this kind of conflict has no valid excuse. 

It is rather painful to watch.