Found this gem on Facebook-
Brah Vo!! Well put. I now commend this brilliant comment to the depths of the world wide web.
Enshittification
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Category Archives: Humor
Dribble Dribble, Dribble Dribble
It is my sincerest hope that someday mankind will develop a coffee pot that does not dribble when pouring water into the water reservoir of a drip coffee maker. As a chemist and one with no little expertise in the pouring of liquids, I’m shocked at the careless and wanton disregard for such a fundamental aspect of life. Isn’t the marketplace supposed to mop up problems like this? The invisible hand of the market is busy pleasuring itself elsewhere, I suppose. Ya know, it does that quite often.
For the love of Pete and all that is good and worthwhile, won’t some industrial designer step up and see to this?
Added after posting
There is a solution to this problem, apparently. Applying a light coating of beeswax to the lip of the coffee pot allegedly solves the problem. Makes sense, I suppose. A wax coating prevents water from following the surface to the outside of the pot. The beeswax is a hydrophobic coating with low surface energy. In principle, any hydrophobic material should work.
Come to think of it, certain glass chemical bottles and jugs have a polymer ring on the sealing surface of the glass bottle or jug. I’ve noticed that after dispensing a polar liquid from a jug that the polymer fitting on the sealing surface does not wet, but the liquid will form beads. The polymer ring could be a flat sealing ring or a dribble-proof surface or both. Nice to have when pouring conc sulfuric or triflic acid.
Thanks to the Berlin Packaging Company for posting the splendid graphic to the interwebs.
Limitations of Quantum Computing
Note: First, let me make clear that I am not a computer scientist and while I’ve learned FORTRAN, BASIC and PASCAL in the early 1980’s followed by coursework in quantum chemistry in grad school- and somehow passed– the question of how quantum computation actually computes with qubits remains a mystery to me. Honestly, I’m weary of hearing about it. That said, I do continue to worry about the ever-increasing pressure on the liquid helium tit which quantum computing will definitely lock on to.
An interesting article came out in the current issue of Quantum Magazine giving some straight talk about how quantum computers might actually be used. All of us have been bombarded by breathless predictions of a wondrous future where we can find prime factors of stupidly large numbers and crack very secure cryptography.
Quantum chemistry is about orbiting electrons confined to particular regions of oddly shaped space around a positively charged nucleus, depending on their energy. That is a lifetime of study right there for me. I think I’ll stick to atoms and molecules.
Oh yes, in the early 80’s we used an IBM 360 and submitted our batch jobs as a stack of punch cards. Eventually we were allowed to use the DEC writer for BASIC programming. One sunshiny day an Apple 2 appeared in the chemistry department office. It had 16 K of memory, a green monitor and an external floppy disk drive. There were whispers that 32 and maybe even 64 K were on the horizon. Heady stuff.
The IT guys were surly then too.
New Words from British TV
Vocabulary gained while watching British crime shows. I will only show the meaning from the context in which they were heard.
- Putrescible, noun or adjective: liable to decay; subject to putrefaction, “putrescible domestic waste”
- Summat, pronoun: a British dialect form of the word ‘something.’
- Kip, noun: sleep, a nap: ‘I might have a little kip’
- Egg sucking, phrase: used as an expression of anger or scorn, ‘go suck an egg if you don’t like it’
- Gaffer, noun: a person in charge of others; a boss.
- Scarpered, intransitive verb, to flee or run away.
- Minging, adjective: very bad or unpleasant.
- Parkour, noun: the activity or sport of moving rapidly through an area.
- Gutted, adjective: Very disappointed or upset.
- Bloke, noun: a man, guy or dude.
- Knackered, adjective: Worn out or tired.
- Bollocks, : nonsense or rubbish.
- Ta, : Thank you.
- To leg it, phrase: To run away.
- Daft, : A bit stupid.
- Gob, noun: Mouth.
- Cuppa, noun: Shorted version of ‘cup of tea.’
- To Crack on, : To get started or to finish something.
- Innit, : Short for ‘isn’t it?’
I like and would adopt most of these here in the US if others knew what they meant. My favorites are the words in orange.
Editorial
Let me say a few things about British television in general. We subscribe to both BritBox and Acorn TV found on Prime streaming service. First, in American TV entertainment, most of the actors tend to be very pretty and young- even the men. It’s a bit too saccharine. British TV has young and pretty people too, but with a large dose of people who ordinarily wouldn’t fit that description. Perhaps the talent pool there is small. My point is that the Brits use older folks to a larger extent than in the US. Another noticeable difference is the use of gun play in the cop shows. British TV uses far less shooting or even just the pointing of guns in their screen plays. There is some, granted, but far less than in the US. I like that. The Brits have a tradition of parlor murder mysteries where the killer is identified by deduction. On Brit TV, conflicts or apprehensions of suspects is frequently handled without excessive violence.
Another refreshing aspect of BritBox and Acorn TV is the availability of continental European programming. I’ve never been bothered by reading subtitles, so the authenticity of language and the drama is unfettered. Truthfully, the use of subtitles for English, Scottish and Irish programming is necessary when accents are too thick to understand, which is not infrequent.
One thing I have noticed is the adoption of American English vocabulary abroad. It is a bit sobering to see the extent of influence abroad by the US movie and television industry.
Chemistry Fun with AI
And finally, a non-chemistry image.
Elon: Right-Wing Culture Warrier
[Warning: Snarkiness ahead.]
Note: Soon after Biden’s announcement of stepping down from the presidential race and his support of Kamala Harris, Musk announced that he was backing out of his plan to donate to Trump. Fancy that.
Republican oligarch Elon Musk has announced that he will be donating $45 million per month to a Silicon Valley super-PAC run by conservatives Joe Lonsdale and the Winklevoss twins supporting the reelection of #45, DJT. If there was any doubt before, it is crystal clear now that Musk is a full-throated carnival barker for DJT-JDV, $45 million for #45.
The richest guy in the world (whose liquidity is questionable) is blossoming into a real kingmaker for America. Holy red crab snappers, Batman, isn’t that swell?
Everyone knows that these megadonors bankroll Republicans as an investment. This assertion sounds like blaming a crocodile for eating people- it’s just what they do. Both Trump and Vance have publicly denounced electric vehicles. Even if Musk’s $180 megabuck donation does not result in cash back, there is certainly continued access to the rarefied heights of politics. Perhaps the Trump-Vance dynamic duo will revisit their stance on electric vehicles.
Musk’s SpaceX has received billions in federal contracts and Tesla has benefitted from electric vehicle subsidies. It’s hard to say that it has been different under the Biden Democrats.
It is bad enough to have a wannabe fascist, Putin-admiring dictator become president again, but to have the world’s wealthiest demagogues heaping cash into the kitty to tip the balance is yet another shit sandwich for the USA. Where does much of this money go? To advertising, payroll, campaign staff, printers and to entertainment venues for campaign events. Why don’t the electronic media go after #45 for his obviously felonious and vile behavior with a large helping of dictatorial inclination? Advertising revenue, silly. To hold back screen time on the Orange Jesus would be to bite the ad buyer’s hand that feeds them.
As an independent voter, I blame the national Democratic Party for gross dereliction of duty in failing to groom talented successors to Biden over the past decade. Where are they? The senior Dems in congress are talented where they are, but none seem to be interested in gambling on a run for the White House.
Uselase Activator trans,trans-Frogadiene
Poltroon University, Guapo, Arizona. Poltroon University is proud to announce the discovery of a formerly vexing biochemical signal pathway leading to personality excursions in certain individuals. Assistant Professor of Molecular Biology Dr. Frederick “One Eye” McMurray, Ph.D., of the Department of Molecular and Tubular Biology led the research. McMurray has pinpointed the signaling pathway leading to uncontrolled blathering about certain kinds of trivia. Previously thought to be a variety of Tourette’s Syndrome, uncontrolled and prolonged outbursts of sports trivia- baseball and bowling trivia is common in the US and The Bahamas.
Poltroon University Clearly Distinguished Professor of Obscure Natural Product Chemistry, Dr. B.L. Bowelson, has discovered a new variety of psychoactive substances while surveying the jungles of central New Worcestershire, Africa. Interested in studying a frog whose skin is known for treating the dreaded jungle halitosis, Bowelson brought samples back to Poltroon and began to extract skin samples. After years of tedium a significant quantity of the previously unknown substance Frogadiene was obtained.
The major isomer, trans,trans-Frogadiene, was found to be the most efficacious form in badger halitosis studies. The substance works by inhibiting the stinky and hazardous hydrogen sulfide produced by sulfur reducing bacteria. Another intriguing effect of the Frogadiene in the forest inhabitants is the enhanced ability to participate in convivial discussions. For a day or two, village victims of jungle halitosis were able to sit with family and friends without the foul breath. After imbibing a tea made from frog scraps, for a time the once blabbering halitosis victims were able to converse without the usual stream of useless information.
Noting the increased, though temporary, ability to avoid outbursts of trivia, McMurray set out to understand the molecular pharmacology of Frogadiene. The first target was the membrane enzyme uselase. This protein was already connected with stimulating the trivia peduncle of the human brain. By maceration in pH 6.9438 buffer of 30 freshly deceased brain donors, a small quantity of uselase was isolated.
The uselase isolate was treated with synthetic trans,trans-Frogadiene and crystals were produced of the complex. X-ray crystallography clearly showed the Frogadiene bound to the enzyme. Later it was found to be an activator of the protease enzyme uselase. In the presence of Frogadiene the enzyme is phosphorylated and passes into the intracellular medium. Once inside, the activated enzyme cleaves DNA which eventually leads to the production of the neurotransmitter monotonine. This neurotransmitter suppresses the urge to issue torrents of trivia.
The pharmaceutical company Azidoberg is in negotiations with Poltroon in an effort to buy the patent.
Journal of Interesting Constraints Editor Retires
Guapo, Arizona. Journal of Interesting Constraints: Dark Matter (JICDM) Editor-in-Chief Prof. Ralph Huey of Poltroon University Physics Department (PU) has announced that he will be retiring from the Editor-in-Chief position after 12 years of service. Prof. Huey has been appointed to the Regent Registrar endowed chair at PU beginning in August, 2024.
JICDM is dedicated to the rapid communication of negative results and theoretical dead ends discovered in the field of dark matter. Scientists wishing to announce evidence-constrained research of dark matter/dark energy physics are invited to submit their manuscripts and vitae. A Journal of Interesting Constraints for both Quantum Gravity and String Theory are being contemplated with an announcement expected after the 2024 Nobel Prise awards are announced.
A poster session beginning at 2:00 PM highlighting Dr. Huey’s work in the field of Quantum Word Processing followed by a colloquium with guest speaker Professor Irwin Corey from the University of Kornhole, Kentucky, speaking on “Quantum Yarn Theory: The Burlap Model of Space-Time” in honor of Dr. Huey’s retirement from JICDM. The lecture begins at 4:00 PM, August 2, 2024 in the Timothy Leary Memorial Auditorium, Potato Science Building, Poltroon University. Open bar begins at 3:30.
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**Thanks to Sabine Hossenfelder for the interesting constraints idea.
Tough Sleddin’ for Bobo
At a Republican district 4 congressional primary debate in Ft Lupton, CO, last Thursday, Colorado’s very own US Representative Lauren “Bobo” Boebert (R-CO) took fifth place out of 5 in a small straw poll, grabbing 12, or 10 % of the votes. The word “carpet bagger” was mentioned a few times. Given that her home district Democratic opponent has accumulated a large war chest, she decided the odds in the 2024 election were poor. So she loaded up the pickup truck, truck nuts and all, and crashed the party in district 4.
Boebert hails from Silt, CO, but was born in Florida. For today I’ll leave this nugget alone.
Let me back up. Boebert was elected twice in Colorado district 3 to the US House of Representatives, most recently in 2022 by a very slim margin. District 3 lies in the much less populous western third of the state. Most all of it is high, dry and approaching vertical in many places. A 65 % majority of the population is rural and mostly conservative.
The tragic comedy that is Boebert is available on Google so I won’t take time to repeat any of it. Suffice it to say that she is even unpopular among Republicans in District 4 as we saw Thursday.
It appears as though the depth of shame isn’t bottomless among district 4 Republicans. Who knows which straw it was that broke the camel’s back. I’m guessing it was the frisky hijinks at a certain musical that did it.
Colorado is peaceful enough nearly everywhere that a sidearm is just dead weight that you carry around needlessly. Like everywhere else, the coppers need to carry a sidearm because the threshold for stupid behavior continues to drop. Otherwise, it is a form of peacock plumage displayed to make a statement. If the Taliban were hunkered down in Boulder or if I had to move in next to a strip joint in Denver, I suppose I’d carry one too.
And God Made Who??
There is a video on Truth Social posted by Trump or one of his lackies made by a fan with a soundtrack that sounds suspiciously like the radio broadcaster Paul Harvey from the days of old. It is a hagiography, a Valentine to #45 repeating over and over that God chose Trump to rescue America from a long list of troubles nagging at conservatives. Good heavens, there are even Marxists out there!
God took the time to plan this out for the sake of right-thinking Americans. The Big Guy who set the galaxies spinning and is the author of quantum entanglement and irritable bowel syndrome is also mucking about in Republican politics here on the pale blue dot.
This was released just prior to the Iowa caucuses to wheedle the Republican faithful to take heed and turn out to vote ’cause it’d please the Big Guy.
Jeepers. Would’ya get a load of that?
Lamentations on Chemistry 