Category Archives: Whimsy

Encounter with Roswell, NM

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No trip to Roswell is complete without a visit to the UFO Museum. While this may be one of the most amateurish exhibitions apart from the county fair, it does put a face on the UFO phenomenon in the USA.

Which One is From Outer Space?

Which One is From Outer Space?

Most of us have heard of the supposed crash of an alien spacecraft near Roswell (or Corona), New Mexico in 1947. The whole fantastic tale seems to be based on a few slender threads of testimony. A trip to the museum clinches the notion that the whole phenomenon is based on innuendo and 2nd or 3rd party stories.

It’s another example of people hustling to conclusions based upon low signal-to-noise observtions. Faint indications of phenomena against a noisy background. Like cold fusion in the 1980’s, a whisper of signal appears now and then.

I recall from freshman psychology that the human brain is especially vulnerable to such glimmers of off-normal stimulus. Gamblers are attracted to the very irregularity of positive feedback that is provided by random events. Perhaps there is a similar neurochemical origin in the obsession with spaceships and alien abductions. It seems to be more than simple curiosity.

It is apparent by casual observation that the city of Roswell has not lovingly embraced the UFO phenomenon with an enthusiastic plunge into full scale commercial exploitation. The Wal-Mart on the north end of town is decorated with a few fanciful alien festoons, but the extent of it amounts to a “museum” and a few worn looking establishments along the main drag.

Saucer Crash

The saucer shape we have come to associate with alien spaceships is based on early sightings of unidentified flying objects. Latter day sightings (LDS? wink wink) comprise a range of shapes and designs.  What I would like to know is this- does the saucer shape make any sense in the context of interstellar travel? What are the aerodynamics of the saucer shape through the full range of velocity regimes? A saucer must eventually transition from operation in a vacuum to hypersonic entry into an atmosphere. Also, the ratio of surface to volume is relatively high, so how do you pack enough luggage & provisions for a lengthy trip?

Take me to your cola!

Take me to your cola!

Land of Enchantment

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Th’ Gaussling & family are off on a springbreak motoring tour of that mysterious Land of Enchantment, New Mexico. The main destination is Carlsbad Caverns. We’ll take a cave tour and refresh ourselves with the wondrous magic of decorative columnar evaporites and ancient guano. Along the way we’ll visit Roswell for a close encounter with cosmic kitsch. In Sante Fe we’ll see Pueblo kitsch. And in Almagordo, there is space kitsch. Remember Col. John Stapp?   

Like Texas, New Mexico has an abundance of miles and miles of miles and miles. We’ll see about six hundred of them, one at a time.

Ciao, baby.

Lamentations on the screw and the chip

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At a meeting recently the topic of a particular computer was put on the table for discussion. A colleague who fancies himself a bit of a computer wrangler kept referring to the computer as a machine. This machine runs on Vista or that machine runs on XP. Jargonese flew out of his cake hole with such fluid grace and certitude that I found myself momentarily drawn in by the minute details of Cat 5 and internet protocols. I had to force myself to snap out of it.

This use of the word “machine” in reference to computers has always annoyed me, but in this case the annnoyance was starting to raise welts on my brain. This madness has to stop.

A computer is a circuit, not a machine. Get that? It’s a circuit comprised of chips soldered to a board.

I’ll give an example of a machine. The screws holding down the circuit board to the frame are elementary machines. A screw is a machine that converts rotational motion to translational motion. Oh yeah, it is a great fastener as well.

A machine can remove body parts, deglove your hand, or unload a cargo ship. A computer is a circuit that at worst, can provide annoyance, vexations, and spam.

Fellows, if you want to swagger around with manly bravado, stick to manly things. Sports cars, bulldozers, and beer. Computer jargon is for prissy little Nancy-boys with overbearing mother figures.

Unix Time Celebration

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My wierd friend Les in the Bay Area advises me that a unique horological event has come and gone. It was a special moment in Unix Time that occured on Friday, 13 February, 2009. The origin on the Unix time line is planted just after midnight, 1 January, 1970 and accumulates in units of seconds. Notably, on 2/13/09 at 23:31:30 (UTC), the Unix clock registered “1234567890”. 

This event was unique enough in some circles to lead Unix Time enthusiasts to celebrate with parties and revelry in many parts of the world. I’m sure they partied like brain damaged test monkeys.

Naturally, Th’ Gaussling was not invited or even advised of this special event. [Update:  This claim is incorrect. Th’ Gaussling was in fact advised of this auspicious occasion in advance by a nerdly friend, but failed to appreciate the gravity of it.]

Of greater interest might be the very next second. Apparently 1234567890 + 1 is prime (I have not personally verified this and probably will not get around to it before the next interesting Unix moment arrives-  9876543210).

Year of the Ox, 2009

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According to high placed sources, 2009 is the Chinese year of the Ox. Hmmm.  If you wanted to buy an Ox, where would you go? What does one look for in an ox? If an excellent ox was standing next to a bad ox, how would you know?  Besides having tails suitable for stew, what else is tasty about the ox? Oxburgers?

An ox is a compact beast of burden- a sort of bulldozer on the hoof. Why didn’t Budweiser choose oxen to pull their famed lager wagon? If oxen were good enough for the Mormon trail and Paul Bunyan, why not for beer distribution? I’m gonna go have a beer and think about it.

Nernstian Sunrise in the Cryosphere

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WAWAwawa ..wawa..wawawa..waawaa..waaawaaa..wa..wa……wa……….wa.

The thermometer read -20 F this morning. It hasn’t been that cold for a few years.  As I sat in the Jeep listening to my battery die hard, my mind wandered fondly to the green meadows of P-Chem and the Nernst equation. This equation sets forth the relationship between temperature and cell potential.  The University of Arizona has this fantastic Nernst simulator (web version) that lets you dial in temperature and immediately see the effect on the voltage of the electrochemical cell.  It is plain to see that as the temperature drops, the EMF drops as well.

Knowing that nature wouldn’t let me summon sufficient wattage from my battery, I went back inside and switched on CNN.  After seeing multiple replays of an indignant journalist hurling a pair of shoes at our president, I was treated to an ad by the Central Intelligence Agency- the CIA. Yeah, the CIA is advertising on CNN!  Take a minute to get your arms around that.

Strangely, uncharacteristically perhaps, I experienced a synergistic swelling of sympathy after seeing the shots of Bush II being assaulted by Iraqi footwear followed by the patriotic CIA ad. For a moment- just a sparkle in time- a quorum of voices in my head agreed that somebody should kick that journalist’s ass. Bush II may be a buffoon, but he is OUR buffoon and nobody should treat him like that. There- I said it.

Upslope

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We had an upslope storm come and go here in Colorado. It left solid phase hydroxylic acid all over the place. Fortunately, my Jeep has a special traction setting for that situation.

State officials have attempted to deal with it by using Group 1 and Group 2 metal halides as well as diaminocarbonyl to affect the colligative properties of the hydroxylic acid crystals.  This leads to an increase in the friction coefficient of the asphaltene and hydrated calcium oxide conglomerates used by motorists.