Category Archives: Whimsy

The Beano Chronicles

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Being a scientist, I am interested in natural phenomena. And, being a gastronaut,  I am naturally keen to explore the distant reaches of the food universe.  Generally my voyages into multidimensional food space are uneventful. But now and then I encounter foodstuffs that push back. Food that does pressure-volume (PV) work on the internals.

Some foods are capable of generating many moles of gas phase product that is appreciably insoluble in the digestive fluids. The result is an inflation of the gastric spaces and prompt notice to the brain of distress.

Fortunately the good folks at Beano have a commercially available product that in my hands or … ahem … elsewhere … makes a dramatic difference in the discomfort level associated with certain legumes. The secret of this wonder of science is alpha galactosidase. When taken before the first bite of PV generating foods, it causes a drastic reduction in the inflation of the large intestine. This enzyme aids in the hydrolysis of troublesome saccharides that are otherwise left to travel from the small to the large intestine where the gut flora go to town.

All the legume eater has to do is to chew 2 or 3 Beano tablets right before the first spoonfull of chili or pintos. In my half dozen live fire beano tests and one frightening control experiment, I have to say that I am a believer. I am grateful and my family is even more grateful.

Science for the betterment of mankind. Ya gotta love it.

Spandex- Chemistry’s Gift to Mankind.

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A trip to Las Vegas serves to remind one of the very important contribution that chemistry has made to the well being of mankind. I’m not talking about pharmaceuticals or some such pedestrian material. I refer to the marvel of Spandex/Lycra. This form fitting wonder fiber continues to serve our collective betterment. It makes me proud (*sniff*) to be in this field of chemistry where our labors can make such a difference. God Bless this Land, this America!

Mole Day in the USA

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Happy Mole Day greetings from Th’ Gaussling! I’m presently in Las Vegas to serve as Parade Marshal for the Mole Day Extravaganza on Las Vegas Blvd. I’ll be riding in the honorary parade marshals car behind the Radio City Rockettes and the MIT chemistry faculty as we make our way through the ticker tape and the cheering throngs. The parade starts at 6:02 this evening and will progress to the wee hours.

On the Road

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Th’ Gaussling is on the road again this week somewhere in fabulous Las Vegas just off the strip. What a strange place this is. Underneath the friendly veneer everyone is mad as a hatter- jabbering, drooling wacko. Chronic exposure to the chiming drone of slot machines and the “Thunder from Down Under” puts the brain into a continuous limbic overload.

Field Phrenology Notebook.  While waiting in line for some cheap fast food at el Pollo Loco here in Vegas, I had the opportunity to study the skull of the fellow ahead of me. The fellow was sporting a bristling soul patch under his bottom lip as the only bit of hair on his head. When I queued behind him, he was already in the middle of a tiff with the manager. He was waving his arms up and down (el Pollo Loco) and making a show of his contempt by constantly shifting his weight from one leg to another. To his credit he never uttered a rude word. Though it was dark outside, he was wearing wrap around sunglasses clamped to his shiny head.

The back of his head was notable by the pronounced eccentricity of the occipital region of his skull. On the back he had a 1 inch diameter, hemispheric, protuberance that obviously posed a hazard for the daily whole-head shaving ritual. Because this guy was skinny, he didn’t have that horizontal rear mustache of fuzz that occurs when the skin folds prevent the razor from covering all of the scalp.

Finally, the man was released from his agony with a $26 refund and stomped out. We were all relieved and went about our business.