Halliburton to Take Over Management of NASA

December 12, 2008.  In an unexpected move the Bush administration has transferred management responsibility for NASA’s Constellation Project to Halliburton.  The no-bid contract was announced 10 pm Friday evening. Reportedly, Halliburton will also take over day to day management of NASA activities.

Halliburton will take immediate responsibility for project management of the new manned launch vehicle system and, eventually, lunar missions planned for the end of the next decade.

Major General (ret.) Garman Schlumpet, President of Halliburton Drilling and Space Services, declined to give details of the new arrangement, but did remark that he “looks forward to working with Mr. Cheney again” on the upcoming lunar mission.

Halliburton is expected to subcontract significant portions of project management to Blackwater Space Systems (BSS) based in Terlott, NC. Recently, the privately held BSS has denied having an ongoing development program in play to develop payload delivery systems for orbital and suborbital applications. 

However, a recently discovered shipping manifest disclosing large quantities of ammonium perchlorate being shipped into the remote North Carolina headquarters has been reported by the Mount Pilot Recorder.  A coalition of adjacent coal mine operators  claim they will file an injunction to halt the “private space program” from contaminating  their pristine mountain valley.

Reportedly, BSS is offering turnkey underground launch facilities as well as launch facility services from their  privately held volcanic island in the Caribbean Mauvaise Odeur Island chain.

Kar Tsar? Car Czar?

A Car Czar?  What?  Are they kidding? Pfffttt!! Industry people barely know how to run the car business. How is a civil servant or political appointee going to direct a bunch of cocky rust belt stiffs in pinstripe suits to drive us into a clean and happy motorized future? Is this a joke? HEY!!  Who’s idea is this?

The big three automotive companies need a blood purge. The executives who lead these venerable organizations onto this jeep trail to perdition need to have their heads skewered on a row of pikes planted outside corporate HQ for all to see. There must be a big show of public firings and some tearful, sobbing contrition by the survivors. People who become automobile executives captains of industry should be terrified every day they show up to work, fearing for their careers. If you get too relaxed, You’re Out!  Damn’d skippy.

Aqueous Enceladus

With the revelation that streams of water ejected from the Saturnian moon Enceladus may arise from subsurface liquid water, the space science crowd is abuzz with excitement about the possibility of life on this frosted novelty moon. It seems to me that if there is aqueous life under the surface of Enceladus, then some of it should have been blown ejected above the surface by these geysers. In fact, a few of the hapless critters may be lying about on the surface this very moment wearing an expression of shock and dismay on their frozen xenomorphic faces. How embarrassing for them.

The three cosmic damp spots- Earth, Europa, and Enceladus. I wonder how long it will take for a lander proposal to get serious evaluation? Life on Enceladus is as likely to resemble a microbial mat as anything.  A lander would have to consider microscopic examination of samples.

Receding Tide Strands All Boats

Wow. Major dose of reality. For Th’ Gaussling, this economy fiasco just went from made-for-TV to in-your-face reality. Big chemical producers are pitching 10 % chunks of resourceful humanity overboard. They are burning down inventory levels, pushing back raw material purchases, and stopping capital projects. The reciprocal of the old saw about “a rising tide lifting all boats” is in effect.

Well, everywhere except government. Government seems to continue to build up debt obligations into the tens of terabucks range. Now is a good time to have defense related products- things that have MIL SPEC on them.

But now is when it really sucks to be in advertising, RV sales, and office supplies.  Advertising budgets are among the easiest to cut when the flancing of blubber begins. 

This is a great time to hire. Lots of job candidates out there with degrees. I’ve been getting Hail Mary resumes from people wildly disconnected from chemistry.

If you are a well paid 50-something, golly, you might as well put a target on your back. This is one of the ways companies can re-jigger their staff to be rid of those expensive, middle aged folk who burden the health insurance pool with those costly diseases. In a recession, a company can use the situation to reset the payroll and have a chance to restaff with cheaper worker bees when things pick back up. That is, if there is anybody left.

Upslope

We had an upslope storm come and go here in Colorado. It left solid phase hydroxylic acid all over the place. Fortunately, my Jeep has a special traction setting for that situation.

State officials have attempted to deal with it by using Group 1 and Group 2 metal halides as well as diaminocarbonyl to affect the colligative properties of the hydroxylic acid crystals.  This leads to an increase in the friction coefficient of the asphaltene and hydrated calcium oxide conglomerates used by motorists.

Memo to Jeb Bush

Hello Mr. Bush. We hear that you are considering a run for the US Senate. We do not know each other and it is unlikely that our paths will cross.  But if you do indeed win a seat in the Senate, then you will be in my life, though somewhat indirectly. You seem like a nice fellow. Let me offer a few thoughts.

Consider that the entire GOP franchise has been badly damaged by your brother, his handlers, and by groups who have perverted the meaning of conservatism. Your brother and his people have presided over the creation of entirely new species of corruption, incompetence, and forms of malfeasance that will take a decade to untangle.

A large fraction of citizens are angry over Bush II arrogance and its willful disregard of good civics. Americans want to move past the Bush epoch: A Bush III period is not welcome.

That being said, it seems that redemption of the family name may lie squarely on your shoulders. Please consider that the direction of this redemption may not be in Washington. It may be elsewhere and may take the form of more humble activity.

Sincerely yours,

Th’ Gaussling

The Beano Chronicles

Being a scientist, I am interested in natural phenomena. And, being a gastronaut,  I am naturally keen to explore the distant reaches of the food universe.  Generally my voyages into multidimensional food space are uneventful. But now and then I encounter foodstuffs that push back. Food that does pressure-volume (PV) work on the internals.

Some foods are capable of generating many moles of gas phase product that is appreciably insoluble in the digestive fluids. The result is an inflation of the gastric spaces and prompt notice to the brain of distress.

Fortunately the good folks at Beano have a commercially available product that in my hands or … ahem … elsewhere … makes a dramatic difference in the discomfort level associated with certain legumes. The secret of this wonder of science is alpha galactosidase. When taken before the first bite of PV generating foods, it causes a drastic reduction in the inflation of the large intestine. This enzyme aids in the hydrolysis of troublesome saccharides that are otherwise left to travel from the small to the large intestine where the gut flora go to town.

All the legume eater has to do is to chew 2 or 3 Beano tablets right before the first spoonfull of chili or pintos. In my half dozen live fire beano tests and one frightening control experiment, I have to say that I am a believer. I am grateful and my family is even more grateful.

Science for the betterment of mankind. Ya gotta love it.

The Chemical Entrepreneur. Part 2.5.

There are as many ways of starting a chemical business as there are people starting them. Entrepreneurs range in profile from smooth talking slicksters to sober, ROI-calculating engineers. Entrepreneurs can also be rather unruly folk. It is not automatically true that business founders are inherently talented at designing and running orgainzations. In fact, they are frequently poor at it.  But, successful founders are usually highly focused and are able to attract resources.

A common motivation for starting a business is that the founder is possessed with existential certainty that he/she can operate a business venture better than, say, a former boss or rival. A business founder may be a free spirit, refractory to sensible advice, or may be a solemn Harvard MBA operating by the book. It is not uncommon for a founder to have had several previous failed ventures prior to a successful one.

And make no mistake, the sense of power that a founder feels in the execution of a business plan can be as addictive as heroin or crack. Once a person has had the experience of successfully gathering resources and then allocating them to leverage progress to a goal, they are forever changed. Whether or not they continue the role of managing funds or personnel, their eyes have been opened to the real meaning of power.

Power is the ability to allocate resources.

No matter what kind of chemical business one wishes to start, it is crucial to understand that it will require the accumulation of some kind of resource that you can apply to a problem. That resource can range from your technical reputation, 30 days net of commercial credit, VC monies, or a chemical processing plant. It is all a form of leverage toward the greater goal converting streams of goods and services into streams of cash.

Try to get cash flowing from sales as early as possible. Choosing a Market-Pull activity is the best way to do this.

A chemist starting up a business is able to choose several kinds of general business activities.  If you want to be a consultant, you must determine the boundaries of your knowledge and then find demand for that expertise.  If you are truly an expert in a field, then more likely than not you know who might buy your services.

If you choose a Technology-Push approach, try to target customers who are willing to be early adopters.

A chemist may be well situated to start an operation offering analytical services. In that case, the enterprising analyst needs to know about underserved demand out in the marketplace. You need to offer a service that prompts people to send a purchase order to you.

If your startup is a one-act pony, it is critical that the pony actually be able to jump through the flaming hoop as advertised. Try to avoid one-act pony business plans.  Find Market-Pull products to pay the bills while your Technology-Push products are under development.

A chemist is in a great position to get into formulations.  While this might not be strictly a “chemistry’ activity, the walking-around-knowledge of chemicals that a chemist might have probably well exceeds the basic chemistry knowledge of many “experts” in the formulations business. However, a chemists general knowledge may not be applicable for direct application to formulations. A formulator must accumulate specialized knowledge and analytical methods for the materials they handle, including things like rheology, cloud and pour points, fungal contamination, and miscibilities. The level of infrastructure for doing formulations can be dramatically less stringent than chemicals manufacturing as well, requiring less startup capital. That said, formulations may be in demand at the large scale. Puttering around at only the less-than-drum scale may have no future.  Again, to be a formulator you need to know what is in demand.

Remember-Sometimes it is dumb to be too smart about things. Be customer oriented. Be honest about strengths and weaknesses.  Learn the difference between smart and cagey. Dick was a cagey businessman. Don’t be a Dick.

Fine chemicals manufacture has many success stories.  Alfred Bader started his Aldrich empire making what we now call Diazald. Bader was extremely customer service oriented and I believe this was the key to his success. He visited laboratories and asked workers what they needed. If the request was reasonable, he would put the material in the catalog collection. If the chemist-entrepreneur desires to start a catalog fine chemical company to sell reagent chemicals and widgets, then I would advise making a study of that business arena.

An understanding of the regulatory compliance world is critical as well, especially relating to the Toxic Substances Control Act, TSCA. A company may have to start out as being a provider of ‘R&D Only’ products. To freely sell commercial quantities of specialty and fine chemicals, a substance must be on the EPA’s public or confidential lists. If not, then permission must be granted by EPA. This will require a special filing which discloses its manufacturing and/or use process, Personal Protection Equipment (PPE), fugitive dust and corresponding controls on exposures to workers and the environment, vapor releases and method of control, a disclosure of how much of the New Chemical Substance (NCS) gets into the environment, any and all available toxicity data, a Safety Data Sheet, physicochemical data, waste NCS disposal, batch size and yearly production. For less than or equal to 10,000 kg per year a Low Volume Exemption (LVE) can be filed. This is an abbreviated version of a Pre-Manufacturing Notification (PMN) filing which will be examined in greater detail and will take much longer for EPA to complete. EPA has the right to require the submitter to collect certain kinds of toxicological data at the submitters expense. These tests are standardized and are performed by certified labs.

Most advisors to entrepreneurs will say that the prospective businessperson is well advised to put down a written plan. This is important on many levels. The act of writing a business plan is useful to the entrepreneur in several ways.  It causes the writer to focus his/her ideas and energy as well as to clarify the goal and how to track towards it. A well written business plan is critical if you need to attract funds to get the operation started. Investors and bankers need a document to study and to bring before others for analysis and buy-in. Just gotta have it.

Starting a drug company is going to be quite difficult for a few isolated chemists to do. It is a complex and insanely expensive and risky business that requires a wide diversity of players to be on board and committed. Somewhere you have to get an MD or MD/PhD, finance people, former pharma executives, regulatory affairs peoples, etc., on the board to add gravitas to your plan. A whole circus of expensive prima donnas. Sounds like a nightmare to me.

New Job Description- Negativist

Getting buy-in from a diverse cast of characters is one of the between-the-lines features of  my job description. Everyone has this problem to some extent. I will admit that I’m quite lucky- Instead of having a single type of difficult character, I have a wide variety of  them. I should feel blessed.

Problem solving is one of the activities where divergence commonly occurs. I’m pushing for this, you are pushing for that. The usual stuff. You advance your arguments and they stand or fall on their merit. But in the end, there has to be convergence. We all have to agree on a path forward.

But what to do if you are the only one trotting out ideas? What if there is another form of problem solving where one person advances an idea and everyone else spends their creative faculties lobbing bombs at it and citing reasons why it shouldn’t be tried? Rather than posing alternatives, the negativist op-poses but is unable to pro-pose.

I will confess that this relates to one of the great disappointments of adult life.  A lot of ones adult cohorts reach a tidy level of comfort early in their lives and stay there for the duration. Many people are terrified to leave their comfort zone and take a walk on the wild side. Wading into unfamiliar territory and trying to build a structure amidst the reeds and swamp creatures. Intellectual land lubbers are fearful of residing outside of known space.

I have have a long list of  weaknesses and  limitations as well. I doubt that I’ll be quitting my job to live in a hut in Phuket and tend bar, fun as that might be.

Arizona Scientists Discover First Inert Enzyme

December 3, 2008, Arroyo Oceanographic Institute, Guapo, Arizona.  Oceanographers at the Arroyo Oceanographic Institute (AOI) at Pultroon College have announced the first of what is believed to be a series of inert enzymes. Scientists discovered the mysterious enzyme in the anterior appendix of the giant salt water catfish while on a benthic noodling expedition off the coast of Tierra del Fuego. Dubbed “Uselase”, the faux enzyme is thought to be the result of a non-lethal mutation.

Dr. Hoechstus Van Toogenblatt, principle investigator on AOI’s 160 ft research vessel Belle Stugatto, noted that the peptide did hydrolyze and release glutamate during the cooking process. “Eet eez gud fer somting, ja?” he said wistfully, “makes a helluva chowder!”