Mashed potato process

One way to ruin your mashed potatoes is to boil them and then “mash” them with a food processor. This will disrupt the starch bodies and afford a thick, snotty paste suitable for gluing GOP posters to utility poles.

Here is a nice way to prepare mashed potatoes. While a pot with a quart and a half of water is coming to boil, peel and cube 4 Russett potatoes. Peel and cube a yam and combine the whole mass of cubed tubers into the pot, bring to a low boil and cover.  Yukon Gold potatoes are even better. If you’re feeling less adventuresome, use half a yam. Enjoy a can of Old Chub or a suitable substitute during the process.

After 20 minutes of reflux, test for softness.  The potatoes should still be slightly firm, but not solid.  The yams will disintegrate first if refluxed too long.

Carefully drain the hot water and add a quarter stick of butter and a half cup of milk. Using a hand held mixer or a hand held masher, mash the light orange mixture to the desired consistancy, adding more milk or cream as needed.  Consider what pleasure there might be in a coarse consistancy.

Transfer to a large bowl and nestle a pat of butter in the top. To the mound of potatoes sprinkle a light dusting of Hungarian Paprika and serve. Enjoy.

The tell-off

One of the tricks screen writers and playwrights use to pull you into the finale of a story is the tell-off.  You know what I’m talking about. It is the monolog or the heavily one-sided dialog where one party reads the riot act to the other.  The best tell-offs are dispensed with some verbal whup-ass and topped with liberal dollup of comeuppance on a big honkin’ slice of just deserts. My Gawd, it’s some kinda good!

In the play I was in recently, my character was told off or shouted down by three other characters. The tell-off and a chase scene are the staples of American theatre and cinema.

Here is a link to an editorial addressed to the president of SUNY Albany, found in the journal Genome Biology. So, president Gerrge M. Philip has been told-off in no uncertain terms.  Now, somebody in a red Fez has to chase him through a seedy bazaar in Marrakech with goats and chickens scattering everywhere for the total dramatic effect.  It’s the natural order of things.

Th’ Gaussling’s Epistle to the Phosita’s. PTO is Hiring

Got an email from a  friend who is a patent examiner. I thought I’d pass the rumor that the US Patent and Trademark Office is planning to hire 1000 more examiners in the coming months, 100 of which will be in the chemical field.  The USPTO website seems rather perky as well.  I can’t verify the accuracy of the number of hires planned- it’s just what my examiner friend said.

The good news is that it is a job with benefits. The bad news is that you have to live in the DC area, study patent applications all day, and haggle with endothermic patent attorneys.  For an interesting view of life as an examiner, read the blog Just a Patent Examiner.  Remember, Einstein was a patent examiner. Hmmm …. I wonder if he understood novelty?

My friend said that the goal is to fill the slots before the hoard of angry Tea Party Pissants take over the house next year.  (Well, ok. He said republicans. I made up the part about Tea Party Pissants)

I can’t bring myself to apply.

I wonder if an examiner must have more than ordinary skill in the art? An Über-Phosita.

Terrorists Successful. Americans Terrified.

While the underwear and shoe bombers may have been unsuccessful in their attempts to bring down a jetliner in flight, they were successful in inducing other manifestations of terror.  The US has been installing whole body scanners capable of penetrating clothing so that nameless and faceless citizens employed by TSA or whomever may inspect our body topography.  In addition to this radiological peepshow during check-in at the airport, TSA security has been authorized to pat down our private parts.   

Cause:  Two imbeciles board airplanes and attempt to initiate their explosives. They failed.  Effect:  The USA, the most powerful military-industrial complex for maybe hundreds of parsecs in all directions, is so freaked out by the presence of a mouse on the kitchen floor that it contrives to supply absolute security.  History is full of many examples of foolish attempts by states to provide absolute security.  The impulse to attain absolute security becomes the lever by which authoritarian states pry liberty from the hands of its people. 

The members of the booboisie who promulgate this foolish notion are not automatically bad people. As viewed from lunar orbit, their intentions are superficially honorable. The gaping flaw is that they accept the premise that trading in the protection against unreasonable search and seizure for what can only be a miniscule uptick in security, is a fair trade. 

It is most assuredly not a fair trade, but it seems to have already been made for us. I strenuously object.

Update:  A friend advises that there are already countermeasures available f0r the scanners.  I would recommend a screen printed lead-based paint with an appropriately artful design that would hide, or perhaps exaggerate the body part to be shielded. Alternatively, a witty slogan may be printed.  Perhaps we can source the lead-based paint in China?

Copper Prices at Record High Level

So, as we bob along in the US pablum news cycle, a news nugget unknown to many of us is the fact that China is undergoing a building boom that is driving the price of copper to record levels.  Despite reports of plummeting rents and rising office vacancies in Shanghai, China is consuming vast amounts of extracted resources from countries like Chile and Peru for large scale electrification projects.

In particular, copper is in heavy demand. And with heavy demand comes high prices.  On the Shanghai market, for instance, copper was recently selling at ca $4.50 per pound and a bit lower on the London exchange. Prices are up sharply since the Cu price collapse in 2008.

According to Bloomberg Business Week, 2009 copper sales of $9.8 billion to China represents 19 percent of exports and 6 % of GDP to Chile.  Chile is experiencing a boom in copper exports from what some are viewing as a Chinese construction bubble.

China is not buying copper in the form of finished goods. It is buying ore concentrates from operations like Cerro Verde in Peru.  After ball milling, the copper sulfide ore is concentrated by froth flotation and eventually put on a boat to China. There it will be refined to a grade suitable for electrical use.

And speaking of metals, China has announced it will speed up exports of rare earth elements to Japan.  This is good news for all of us since Japan is one of the major consumers of REE’s out side of China.  Interestingly, 20-30 % of China’s rare earth output smuggled out of the country.

Not-so-brave new world

A blog called The Legal Satyricon has an excellent essay on the demise of Senator Russ Feingold. I am compelled to chime in and second the motion. Feingold understands the social equilibrium principle of civil liberty. But a growing population of voters apparently do not.  Feingold’s opposition to the Patriot Act was truly an act of integrity.  He understood the ratchet-like progression of governmental power and saw the Patriot Act, a piece of legislation that seemingly appeared overnight, for what it was. An overreach into the lives of American citizens. An overreach that involves weapons, surveillance, and more rigid control over citizens.

But fearful citizens wielding felt tip markers filled in the ballot bubble for the other candidate and Feingold is out. The fearful imagine they are for basic virtues like liberty, but in fact they pull the covers up to their eyes and vote away civil liberties.

Fear of terrorism is fear of an idea. The “War on Terror” is a blindingly stupid and misleading slogan. This kind of sloganeering betrays a basic educational deficit on the part of elected officials. The same applies to the “War on Drugs”. 

Al Qaeda and the extremisms born of Islamic fever are actions based on a philosophy. There are no armies to fight. There are no uniforms and no enemy insignia’s to put the cross-hairs on.  Only the civilian believers in a notion carry this fight forward.  You can’t hope to win a war on an idea by military invasion.  The War in Afganistan is a bug hunt.  As soon as the lights go off, the bugs come back out. The Soviets discovered this the hard way.

Al Qaeda, then based in Afganistan, slams civilian jets into architectual symbols of American power.  The US responds by lavishing massive invasion forces upon Iraq and sending modest forces to Afganistan.  America’s leaders, lead by that vacuous symbol of virtue, George Bush II, seemed bent on knocking somebody down .  So we went and knocked somebody down. 

We tipped the hornets nest of Iraq and unleashed a pornographic orgy of fratricide. Perhaps the tragedy of Iraq’s expression of rage was inevitable no matter how its evolution played out.  Political outrage fueled by inconceivable injustices and inhumanity brought into sharp focus by Iron age religious doctrines lead to a suicidal conflagration of Iraqi society.  In truth, as a Russian colleague once suggested while we sat in my living room drinking vodka and watching Gulf War 1 unfold on CNN, westerners have no business meddling  in that part of the world because we do not understand it. Its history and rythms are alien to us.  He was right. Meanwhile, Afganistan continues to produce most of the worlds morphine which, when acetylated, gives heroin.

America’s ability to project power is a wondrous thing to behold. We are genuinely good at it. Ask us to solve the problem of poverty or drug abuse and we’ll come up with some rheumatoidal public apparatus to throw money at some of it while the smug and secure bitch about socialism.

But ask us to deliver a missile payload of high explosives into a window from 12 thousand miles away, we’ll spare no expense and put the best minds on it.  We’ll put DARPA on the trail and devise new materials and electronics. Hell, we’ll even put up satellites just so’s we can watch a million dollar explosion on TV.  At least a part of the tragedy of 9/11 is the unleashing of our reflex to make war.  There is a dubious future in armed conflict and we should hold elected officials more accountable when they make war in our name.

Th’ Gaussling’s 14th Epistle to the Bohemians. Enjoy the Ineffable.

Here is a great title for a post- “Effing the Ineffable“.  I wish I’d thought of it.  The author, Roger Scruton, a philosopher, attempts to circumscribe the indescribable and unquantifiable by revealing those who have tried to describe the ineffable. His conclusion is to relent and accept it.  

Having a brain and sensing the external world means that our sensory apparatus and our internal private monolog are interpreting a continuous stream of perceptual input whose format is based on the constraints of molecules and molecular orbitals. Is it possible that this organic object- the brain- is capable of  a broad enough spectrum of perception that it can understand its place in the universe?

I too am tempted to eff the ineffable. Like my philosophical predecessors, I want to describe that world beyond the window, even though I know that it cannot be described but only revealed. I am not alone in thinking that world to be real and important. But there are many who dismiss it as an unscientific fiction. And people of this scientistic cast of mind are disagreeable to me. Their nerdish conviction that facts alone can signify, and that the “transcendental” and the eternal are nothing but words, mark them out as incomplete. There is an aspect of the human condition that is denied to them. –Roger Scruton

Scientists are reductionists by nature. Scientists naturally seek an irreducible representation of a phenomenon and attempt to describe it symbolically. The symbols may be words or mathematical constructs (what ever it takes to get through peer review).

I think where scientists are not so welcome is in the aesthetic domain of the human experience.  Perhaps our place in the universe is simply to be the conduit through which the broader universe is self-aware. We sentient beings should enjoy that role and have some fun with it.

Will Academics Ever Teach Industrial Chemistry?

I’ve spent some of my time cheerleading for the profession of chemistry and offering some insights into non-academic career paths that are perhaps less well known.  I’ve tried to offer a positive view on the field, despite the name of the blog, and advance some arguments for why a practitioner of chemistry should be optimistic about the future.

There are some practical difficulties with chemistry as a lifelong field of endeavor relating to the matter of career growth and limitations therein.

Imagine that you are a brightly feathered bird with a very strict diet. Let’s say that you are an exotic bird who feeds on the fruit of a rare tree that grows only on the south facing bank along the headwaters of a minor tributary of a tributary of the Amazon river.  This is the condition many if not most PhD scientists find themselves in.  A company has to limit the number of PhD’s in the organization because they are expensive and can be a little particular about what they do. They are the generators of company technology and IP. It’s hard for a CEO who has come up the ranks through sales and marketing to win an argument with a scientist on matters of technology. That is why you have VP’s of Technology.

Scientists are problem solvers. Some scientists are well suited to industrial activity with a knack for rapid solution of applied science problems. Their work has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Others are, well, eggheads. Some PhD’s couldn’t close the loop on a project if both ends were tied with red yarn to their wrists. They are more interested in the elegance and texture of the system than the punctilious adherence to schedules and timelines.  There is a place for eggheads in industry as well.

I love the science of chemistry. It wraps around the peculiar topography of my consciousness nicely. It satisfies my need to understand the fine material mechanisms of the universe. I crave the next insight into the nuances and subtleties of the material world.  And I’m referring to the fraction of the universe that we can observe- Bright Matter. Dark matter leaves me cold and unmoved. I just don’t care about it at this point.

Realistically, to be in chemistry you need to be in an organization. A chemist without an organization is like a diplomat without a country. The act of obtaining raw materials, processing, and disposing of waste is a tangled mass of regulatory webbing requiring D&B numbers, permits, and money- lots of money. A chemist requires a place to work. At least experimentalists do.

But these issues still do not get to the heart of the question of alternatives to the laboratory. At the heart of the matter, is the question of the dreaded glass ceiling. Chemists have some omissions in their professional education that limit their access to the rarified hights of of industry. I’ve written about this before.

A BA/BS degree in chemistry is a course in science, not industry. The bachelors degree in chemistry is very much oriented to the Three Pillars of Chemistry- Theory, Synthesis, and Analysis. Graduate studies in chemistry are the same.  Chemistry graduates are versed in chemical problem solving because that is what the ACS curriculum demands and what the faculty are able to produce. This is perfectly reasonable.

However, the commercial practice of the chemical arts and sciences requires much more than what the ACS curriculum provides. Industrial chemistry requires managment of material and human resources. It requires the ability to lay out a timeline for multiple, parallel activities and meet deadlines. It requires knowledge of generally accepted business practices in the form of sales, accounting, shipping & receiving.

What are the duties that academia might have to the world outside the cloister? Is the role of academia limited to the continuation and purity of the profession or does it have any obligation to the pragmatics of the outside world? Faculty are always glad (or relieved?) to see their graduates find careers.

Go to the website of any chemistry department and look at the research interests of the faculty. Aside from the faculty who are not research active any longer, it is easy to see in every listing a snapshot of what was considered hot research at the time of hire. Research is a lifelong activity and we all have to pick a specialty to hope to retain some kind of comprehensive expertise.

What you will never (?!) see in a listing of chemistry faculty interests are topics related to industrial issues. Chemistry faculty hires are often chosen for their connection to what are considered cutting edge research topics of the time.  The rationale is that this kind of hiring brings vitality and modernity to the department. It’s perfectly reasonable as long as the hireling can teach the core classes as well. Chemistry faculty hires in the area of industrial science don’t seem to happen. Whether it is because of ignorance of industry or that industrial chemistry is seen as derivative and therefore not cutting edge science I do not know.

How to help students going into industry? Take some business coursework. A minor in business is an easy place to start.

Intro to business
Accounting
Finance
Management
Business Law

What about more industrially related chemistry topics, say, for grad students?   Well, that only works if their advisors are of like mind.  I do not see that happening in my lifetime.

Geology has a subdiscipline called economic geology. It is concerned with the discovery and analysis of economically viable ore bodies as well as the extractive processes involved in the recovery of value.

Perhaps chemistry needs a subdiscipline in the area of operations management. Process economics and engineering are certainly covered in the Chemical Engineering course of study. Why have we partitioned chemists away from this? Again, it is the academic culture that is the driver. If they do not conceive of curricula and hire industrial faculty members, then the thing never begins.

Economic chemistry (Chemeconomics)- covers the economics of chemical manufacturing and the global chemicals market.  It is a subdivision of industrial engineering.

There are some books out there that attempt to address aspects of this. One on my bookshelf is by Derek Walker, The Management of Chemical Process Development in the Pharmaceutical Industry. While Walker’s book does not delve into economics, it does try to bridge the gap from lab to business issues.

Opening Night

Our production of Kaufman and Hart’s You Can’t Take it With You opened Friday night to a packed house. Saturday evening was right near capacity as well.  All of the organizational machinery clicked along nicely. Lights and sound effects went off as expected. The cast showed up in good spirits and ready to perform.

A hilarious scene from The Moon Theatre Company production of You Can't Take it With You. (Photo Credit- Berthoud Recorder, 2010)

I have to say that it is exceedingly gratifying to fill a venue and have the audience laughing through the play. We were unsure of the laugh lines initially, but now have a better idea of where they are. In the photo above, Mr Sycamore restrains Mr DePinna who is waving fireworks near the Internal Revenue man. Grandpa and Essie prepare for the worst. Note: I’m not in the photo.

I play an uptight Wall Street businessman and father of the young man courting the daughter of Mr Sycamore.  My acting job is to make the emotional transition from being against the marriage to being in favor of it.  Acting is a real hoot and I’m grateful that others will consent to allow me on the stage with them. Of course, it helps to be on the board of directors.

The Three Pillars of Conservatism: Fear, Greed, and Anger

Every election cycle, we get to have a lingering look up the skirts of conservative dancers who tease the audience with alternating glimpses of their puritan knickers and their pasty white backsides. It is at once revolting yet fascinating in a sick kind of way.  Where are those dollar bills I brought …

Conservative Americans have made a virtue of fear, greed, and anger. This is one of the pure, crystalline forces of history. The Three Pillars of Conservatism.

Liberals fail in politics because they inherently misunderstand power and how it works. Conservatives have an innate grasp of power and suffer little from its wanton and extravagant use.  One never hears conservatives praising the ideals of the Greek thinkers. Conservatives are much more like Romans. The Romans made a show of conquest and of alignment to the doctrine and virtue of empire. Romans understood the value of bread and circuses. And that is what we get today every election cycle. A circus.