It’s a hip hop hippity hop

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I was standing in a light rain this afternoon watching a hip hop dancing exhibition. A lawyer friend standing next to me commented that it was so cold he had to keep his hands in his own pockets. I thought that was funny.

Since the kid has been studying hip hop dancing, I’ve been to one hip hop concert and a few dancing exhibitions. I have to say that I rather like it. 

I’ve noticed something over the years at school functions where parents gather to watch their kids. Strangely, the parents are almost universally uncomfortable around the parents of other kids. When they (we) walk into the school they automatically become shy. Their social skills seem to be left outside. Even the elementary quantum unit of civility, an introduction and a handshake, is offered only after awkward minutes elapse and it becomes apparent that anonymity cannot be maintained. The notion that the parents of your kids friends are also your friends is not an axiom.

In fact, this whole business of adult friendship is a puzzlement to me. I can’t tell you how many times a discussion with another adult escalates into “that’s bullshit, this is how ya do it …” or terminates as “well, we don’t do that…”.  Many adults I know are seemingly unable to enter into a discussion where ideas are tossed around and back and forth analysis ocurs with mutual curiosity and interest.

So many people I know will take any given comment as an invitation to render approval or disapproval. There is rarely any interest to build on a concept or flesh out possibilities. One coworker is unable to discuss any topic I bring up. The reply to my sentence is invariably to throw out onto the table the activity or thing they do in a superior way than implied by my comment. There is never any back and forth- their participation is just a series of reflections off a mirror back to themselves.  Some of these folks are very brittle emotionally and intellectually.

Then there are the people who only participate in a discussion when they can dominate it. If they cannot dominate the proceedings, they leave. I have taken to the bad habit of preempting them by leaving when they arrive to dominate the discussion. Who is the bigger fool? I am not sure.

Somebody (William James?) once said that for most people, thinking consists in the rearranging of their prejudices. There is a lot of truth in this.

Apple to Adopt Theremin Interface for iPad

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Guapo, Arizona.  A spokesman for the Institute for Human-Aetherphone Interface Studies at Pultroon University has issued a press release announcing the signing of a non-exclusive licensing agreement between the University Intellectual Properties Office and Apple Computer, Inc. 

The office of Romeo MacGregor, director of new product development at Apple, declined to comment. However, sources at Pultroon University who wish to remain anonymous stated that Apple is planning a user interface based on certain aspects of Theremin technology developed at the university.

Project Claire de Lune, as it is called according to sources inside Apple, will revolutionize computer interfacing by allowing the user to gesticulate data entry bare handed within a small RF field surrounding the device and without the inconvenience of having to manipulate Wii-type control devices.

Sources inside Pultroon University claim that control appliances modulating the motion of the jaw, tongue, and eyelids can be affixed to the users head via eyeglass frames for an increased number of parallel input channels to devices like the iPad.

Microsoft has been rumored to be developing a user interface based on Theremin technology under the codename Krell.

Brother Joe

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VP Joe Biden was in the building next door today. He handed a large stimulus check to a company that will make power trains for electric vehicles.  Secret Service guys in dark suits and dark glasses have been standing around all day. Local constables of all descriptions had a piece of the security action as well. The motorcade and attending security circus was interesting to watch. There were two identical armored limos, at least a dozen motorcycle coppers with flashing red/blue lights, and an ambulance. I think it would be more sporting if the motorcycle coppers each had a red fez with tassles. It would amuse the child in each of us.

Eyjafjallajökull Volcano

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A few decent links-

It has been estimated that the magma source for the Eyjafjallajökull Volcano is greater than 20 km below the surface. 

A great source of information is the Icelandic Met Office. This organization issues daily reports on the status of the volcano.

A local Icelandic company providing  webcam coverage of the volcano is Miles Telecommunications.

Eyjafjallajökull Volcano (Nasa Photo)

The worlds most unpronounceable volcano, Eyjafjallajökull, located under a glacier on the south central edge of Iceland, continues to erupt with fountains of lava and prodigous volumes of dispersed ash clouds.  The NASA image above shows the lava fountains and steam emanating from the volcano. Others have captured excellent photos as well. 

“The Geology and Geodynamics of Iceland” is the title of a paper by Professor Reidar G. Tronnes, presently at the Natural History Museum at the University of Oslo. The Tronnes paper gives an excellent overview of the tectonic circumstances of Iceland and outlines some of the latest thinking on the basis of Icelands seismic and volcanic activity. 

The Icelandic landmass is the result of some very productive vulcanism stemming from a buoyant plume of magma that drives the vulcanism of Iceland. Figure 1 of the Tronnes paper shows the extensive subsurface ridge system extending from Greenland to Scotland. Figure 3 shows how the line of divergence sits in place while spreading of the sea floor and the Iceland plateau occurs on either side of the rift system. The rifting produces swarms of fissures which are coincident with the siting of the volcanos. The Mid-Atlantic ridge cuts across Iceland and assures that this location is a center of seismic and volcanic actitity.

Eruption of Eyjafjallajökull Volcano, Iceland (Photo Credit: Nasa Earth Observatory)

 NASA Earth Observatory link.

Note to Larry King

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Note:  The rest of you please go about your business. This is a private letter  to Larry King.

Hey old buddy,

I heard that you was getting ready for yer, what, eighth deevorce? Dude, you really need to think about puttin’ that horse out to pasture. I can understand one or two. Hell, I been deevorced myself. But eight? Sssshoot! It only takes two points to make a straight line. Ain’t it gettin’ a might pricey? Don’cha ever wanna retire from that damned station in Alanta?

Here is what ya do. Ya go into yer back yard and dig up some of that money ya got buried back there and ya git yerself a condo and a dog.  A fella like you prob’ly needs a mastiff or some other big dog. Whatever. The dog will love ya no matter who else you may be fooling around with that month. Catch my drift? Git my meanin’?

Okay then. ‘Nuff said.

Your pal,

Th’ Gaussling

Moving forward with the chemical process

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The scale-up of a chemical process is an excercise in many subdisciplines. The bench chemist has to do his/her magic in finding a suitable reaction and purification scheme. Process R&D managers must exercise managerial art in shepherding people through a timely execution of the project. Purchasing managers must arrange for just-in-time arrival of raw materials and inventory managers must see to it that they are properly staged.

Technical writers must have a batch record written and signed off. Process hazards and EH&S folks must have procedures to evaluate for safety and regulatory compliance. Regulatory affairs people must have submitted forms for TSCA compliance. PSM processes must have all of the requirements in line for OSHA compliance. Air and water permits must be in place as well as provisions for capturing VOC’s and shipping of waste. Procedures for handling  liquid waste streams and filter cakes must be in place. Successful kilo lab and pilot plant validation of the process must be signed and passed along. The analytical department must have procedures for raw material validation, in-process checks, and final analysis for certification.

In order to go forward, a sales person must have already worked out acceptable price and shipping terms. The customer must issue a purchase order and the terms must be accepted by the manufacturer. Production management must then schedule a production run once the scale-up effort is complete. The QA/QC  folks must have acceptable specifications by which to issue a document certifying conformance to the specifications.

Once the PO has arrived, it’s show time.

Chemistry jobs, part (x + 1)

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I received an email from a good friend and colleague who made some fine points relating to my comments on business experience for chemists.  Since he is shy about posting the comment to the blog, I’ll put it here. I’m sure he’ll forgive me.

The younger folks never heard that this has all happened before. My orgo prof talked about chemists driving trucks during the 70’s. During the Carter years things weren’t too pretty either.

Most of my colleagues seem to feel that you have to recruit to the field – since we already are a small fraction of the pre-med group and the success rate for chemists is low – but I am unsure of what an honest appraisal is. I don’t recruit, but I also don’t want to scare them away.

I agree that a few business courses are essential. But, I have a colleague who got an MBA after he started teaching here – I think that was not very useful. Unless he opens a business….

As I mentioned to my friend, I think that if a chemist wants to experience the business side of chemistry, then he/she must go to the business side with 100 % commitment. If you want to be on the business side of chemistry, then you must commit to competition with all of the cats & dogs on the other side of the science fence.  If you want to be a business person, then you have to BE A BUSINESS PERSON.  You cannot keep one foot in the lab and the other rubbing the customers ankle under the table. Ya gotta be all in or forget it.

A pure business person does not care if he is selling “As Seen on TV” widgets or pallets of triphenylphosphine. Someone with a chemistry background will almost certainly want to be in a familiar space, and so will gravitate to chemicals. But to get into chemical sales, you have to penetrate the veil of obscurity that covers most of this field. You have to find out who is manufacturing bulk chemicals and locate the name of the sales VP or manager. Entry through the scientific end is tighter than a fishes asshole and is the wrong approach.

To be a successful business person in chemistry (or anything) you must have a total commitment to better living through cash flow. Cash is both King and Life.  And cash comes from Selling!!!!!!  A successful business person wakes up thinking about sales and falls asleep that night thinking about sales for the next day.  Like with chemistry, it is a form of mania.

Frankly, if a person with a lengthy history of chemcial R&D approaches a VP of sales for a job, they’re likely to think there is something wrong with them. What the …? This is where the strength of your personality comes into play. You’re very first “deal” will be with the sales or business development manager who would hire you. And you better make it good. I would dial in 90 % substance and 10 % bullshit for full schmooze configuration.  Remember, you’re trying to impress professional schmoozers.  It is not uncommon for a schmoozer to be quite susceptable to it themselves.

Yes, I am aware that Dante Aligheri witnessed the ring of hell set aside for flatterers, but you’ll have to make amends later.

There is a key item to put on the table. It is called the value proposition and it is a crucial part of any sales pitch. You have to convince a potential employer that you bring things to the table that will benefit or increase sales. Before one can seriously go out and find a job in sales, ones personal value in the proposition must be sorted out and rehearsed for automatic release during conversation.

My friends colleague with the MBA will probably retire with an unused business degree if he does not get out there and mix it up.  But maybe sales is not his thing.

Perhaps he is more interested in procurement. This is the true dark side of business. Procurement managers are some of the most powerful people (mad dogs, actually) in business and everyone fears them. Procurement managers are the people who select vendors and authorize the release of vast streams of cash through an instrument called a purchase order (PO). A PO is a highly sought after item and represents the culmination of a courtship of sorts.

Chemists can be extremely useful in the procurement of chemicals.  A procurement manager with a chemistry degree is basically a necessity in much of the chemical industry.  Chemists speak the language and are able to keep an eye on specifications and make sure that the right R&D people or engineers connect with the vendor if there is a quality or timing upset.

There are jobs in the chemical industry that may be available to chemists who are willing to step away from research. But it does require putting on a different cap and assembling a different resume package.

In the Chair

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As I lay reclined in the chair looking up at the blue sky and the palm tree,  I found myself wincing at the tugging at my head. Cool water splashed my face and ran past my ears and down my neck. A face came into view and peered intently at me.  Against the hushed conversation in the background a sound track played a vocal piece by Cher, no doubt the one in which she appeared in some black gauze and tape outfit while lip synching on a navy battleship.

For me this Cher video remains high on the list of most convincing bits of evidence that there is no God in heaven. Surely no master plan for the universe can include this performance.

Suddenly a shrill, piercing whine zinged into my consciousness and resonated in my skull. The sonic waves seemed to converge to a focus on my auditory apparatus. As bad as it was, it did  block the Cher sound track and for that I was grateful.

I looked away from the illuminated image of the palm tree in the ceiling light panel and focused on the looming snout of the dental hygienist. Sitting over two coal black nasal passages I could see twin distorted reflections in her glasses.  A gaping oral cavity ringed with teeth and filled with fingers and tools. The ultrasonic device that she was using conducted mind numbing vibrations into my head all the while irrigating my face.

Just another day.

Drill baby dr … what was the question?

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I keep seeing video footage of citizens who have been asked to comment on the recent plan to open up offshore oil exploration. President Obama and his crew have read the tea leaves and have concluded that, in addition to advancing alternative fuel technologies and markets, it would be useful to open up offshore drilling, at least a bit. Invariably the people who appear on air seem to concur that we need to find and tap the petroleum resources under the sea floor.

Rarely one hears an interviewee who will openly say that we should reduce petroleum consumption, or at the very least, its growth rate.

Here is my question. Why are we so anxious to tap all of our resources as soon as possible?  Isn’t oil in the ground a little like money in the bank? Oh, I forgot. We are not a savings culture.

Obviously, the new exploration emphasis is to support a decent growth rate in consumption. A high throughput of fossil carbon and energy is needed to sustain the profitability of certain large public corporations.

As I see it, the problem with public corporations is that they are run on behalf of what are essentially absentee landlords. The stockholders demand a good return on their investment or they’ll bail. Can’t blame someone for that. So, management runs the corporation in a way that affords maximum profit rather than maximum sustainability. As a result, in the same manner as absentee landlords, management drifts into the mindset that they can justifiably milk the resource to depletion for fast cash. If cash is king, fast cash is divine.

The market is very much like a stomach. It cannot plan. It only knows that its hungry or not hungry. It seems to me that an organ with a bit more wiring should be in charge of energy resources.