Hamthrax

So, the slang name for the H1N1 swine flu is “hamthrax”. Pretty funny. I suppose it could be called spamthrax as well.

As a kid I lived for a time in an Iowa town that had a Hormel Spam processing plant. During the winter in particular, the town of Fort Dodge, Iowa, would smell like cooked Spam. Ft Dodge sits atop the Des Moines River valley. During the cold months the valley would fill to the brim with the odor of Spam. It was an odd experience to drive into town and be overwhelmed by the smell of potted spiced meat.

Ft Dodge was (is) also known for the vast gypsum deposit that sits underneath the area. The word was that hair from the hogs at Hormel was blended with the gypsum to add strength to the sheetrock that was produced. I don’t know if this is true, but it made a great story for countless toe-headed farm kids who drove by the gypsum plant and pondered how they got the hair from the hogs and into the wallboard.

Mole Day Thoughts on Lab Life

I have come to the realization that, after a career of avoiding it, I really dig physical organic chemistry. While I do have the synthetikkers love for developing a synthesis, I really enjoy taking the rare opportunity to do a focused study on a single transformation or compound.  It is a stylized form of play that any developmental psychologist would recognize. Discovery is about learning, just like play, and many of the exploratory behaviors observed in play apply just as well to discovery (well, except for hitting and crying).

One way a scientist learns is by doing a search for boundary conditions. Where or how in parameter space does a thing change? What is the best solvent for the desired outcome? What effect does stoichiometry have? Does dry, inert atmosphere really make a difference? What are the best leaving groups? Yes, it’s just research. But there is more.

In order to claim that you have expertise with a substance or process, you must have an understanding of how a process or substance behaves under a variety of conditions. If faced with a product that is off spec and the prospect of having to rework or remake, it is very helpful to understand what conditions lead to the off-normal outcome. Either the chemist sleuths each upset for a cause, or the chemist goes in the lab and purposely exposes the process to off-normal parameters and analyzes the outcome, or both. After a while, patterns begin to arise and trends become apparent. This is play.

Seems bloody obvious. But in a production environment the opportunity to explore  parameter space is often not possible. Favor almost always finds the more practical, though short term, fixes. Production managers are not always chosen for their focus on the long term. They are short term oriented- a necessary predilection for timely delivery of product on a tight timeline.

Part of a good process development program is a study of how the process behaves in various upset conditions. This is important for understanding the thermal safety issues, but it also is a good time to take snapshots of how the composition of the process system behaves when it is out of whack.  A reaction profile under conditions of reagent mischarges or off-temperature can give many clues as to the operating window of the process. It can also tell you something about the best way to do an in-process check and define flags for particular types of upsets.

Many companies do this, but a good many find a way to gloss over such work.

Review of “The Lost Symbol”

I finished reading Dan Brown’s latest best seller The Lost Symbol. Brown famously authored The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons. Both of these novels were crafted to include all of the factors needed for NYT best seller status- secret societies, characters solving a mystery, the chase, intelligent and attractive main characters, cryptotheological inferences,  etc. Both of the early books were quite entertaining to read and hard to put down.

It is with some disappointment and regret that I must confess that I did not care for The Lost Symbol. I found it substantially formulaic and predictable.  Interestingly, a great investment in plot design was taken by noetic science as a type of incipient breakthrough for humanity, but no meat was to be found hanging on those bones. Instead, noetic science simply served as a weak plot device to place a secret laboratory near the Mall in Washington DC.

Then there is the lengthy apology to the Masons. In fact, the book is one long apology to Masonic culture and history; perhaps for slights inferred in past Dan Brown novels? Really, the book should be titled Dan Brown’s Interminable Apology to the Masons.

Again, the hapless Harvard Symbologist Tom Hanks Robert Langdon is caught up in a cryptological extravaganza requiring the decoding of a series of symbolic puzzles, usually under duress. Dismemberment, pyramids, Masonic Temples, reluctant protagonists,crypto fu, metaphysical fu, wealthy and eccentric characters, secretive government agencies, shadowy agents, and more.

In the final chapters, Brown takes the story into what I’ll call the “Dialog on Great World Systems” (with apologies to Galileo). Using the form of the Greek playwrights, he drags the reader through the egg batter and flour of extended and pedantic dialog between characters to serve up missing information and close all of the loose ends in the story.

Dan Brown the fiction writer reassures the reader that despite what fiction writers invent concerning Masonic rites and secret knowledge, they really are godly and patriotic fellows after all. But rather than leave it there, Brown attempts to ladle some theological pan drippings into the gravy by suggesting that the Christian Bible is actually full of symbolism.  Indeed, as the gazillionaire and noeticist siblings suggest, it is mostly symbolic. D’oh!

And, along that vein, the story asserts that Noetic research has uncovered that “ancient knowledge” is substantially correct, including that encrypted into the Bible, and with that realization, mankind is now on the cusp of a new era of civilization. Interesting story idea, but it never develops the noetic stuff in a satisfactory way.

Balloon Boy Taken Away in Chains

Denver, Colorado.  Balloon Boy and his parents were arrested this evening at their Ft Collins, Colorado, home. The parents will be arraigned Friday morning and charged with first degree aggravated inconveniencing under Colorado’s strict new incommodus laws. Bringing neighborhood inconvenience is a misdemeanor, but inconveniencing broadcast news organizations and state agencies where helicopters are involved is now a felony and punishable with fines and hard labor.

The Balloon Boy himself was taken into custody by child protective services and will likely be charged with one count each of misdemeanor impertinence and rascalism with intent to evade. If convicted under juvenile code, the Balloon Boy can expect to spend 60 days in juvenile choir in leg irons and orange prison coveralls followed by 5 years of closely monitored confinement to his room with extra homework.

Balloon Boy Still Missing

So the breaking news in my neighborhood is that the Colorado Balloon Boy’s craft has landed, but the 6 year-old boy is missing. The balloon lifted off from a residence in Ft Collins and landed near Prospect reservoir, a few miles NE of Denver International Airport. He drifted at least 50 miles. Reportedly, the basket that was affixed to the balloon was not present at the landing site.

I can only say that as a former six year-old boy, I might not have been able to resist climbing into the balloon either.

Lowest Common Denominator

What is happening in the chemical world is that the safety people are taking control. Everything is dumbing down to the point where the safety of a facility is being judged on the basis of what the least qualified deem as safe. 

I just received an MSDS for the Buchner funnel (!$#%!!) I recently purchased from Aldrich.  The MSDS lists zero’s for Health, Flammability, and Reactivity both for HMIS and NFPA ratings. Thank heavens for that. It does recommend “suitable storage” and that it be kept “tightly closed”.  It is silent, though, on the matter of repeatedly jabbing the pointy end into your eye.

I gotta get out of the chemical business if this is where it is going. Administrative controls on common laboratory activity requires management by a dedicated staff member in order to maintain a favorable paper trail and stay in compliance with the ever growing web of regulation. OSHA, EPA, Homeland Security, as well as state and local agencies who want to inspect this or that or place tax stamps on your balances.

How did civilization get this far along without the legions of officious ninnies who want to exert control over everything you do? Chemical labs have inherent hazards, depending on the work that is being done in them. The cost of achieving de minimus risk for the lowest common denominator is quite high. Risk ends up being transferred to countries who reside on the other side of the curve- those who have little care for people.

Yeston and Kopit’s Phantom

Yeston and Kopit’s Phantom is a musical version of Gaston Leroux’ The Phantom of the Opera. This musical actually predates Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera by a few years but, apparently, was never produced on Broadway. Yeston and Kopit’s Phantom is more of an operetta and, in my estimation, carries a bit more stylistic resemblance to late 19th century opera than does Lloyd Webbers version.

The production of Phantom we attended last night was at a local dinner theatre. The show was quite good, but the Beef Wellington could have used more beef and less Wellington. And, the bottom shelf Merlot had oxidized.

I am not a singer and am in no position to critically review anyone who sings on stage. But in my estimation, the entire cast produced very strong and clear voices in a style suitable for the context.

The stagecraft and lighting worked quite well. Three set pieces representing together a foreshortened wall with columns were set on moving platforms that were adjusted by the cast even while they were performing. It successfully gave the impression that many spaces within the building were represented, including a view from backstage toward the performers on stage. Very clever.

This was a perfectly acceptable interpretation of the book Phantom of the Opera. Yet, having seen a good production of Lloyd Webber’s Phantom, I sat the entire time in anticipation of a performance of Lloyd Webber’s musical numbers which never came. This is surely a common affliction.

After a nice evening of musical theatre we stepped into reality. A driving sideways snowstorm had come in to burst our bubble and, naturally, no scraper was to be found in the car.

Republican swine riled over Obama Nobel Prize.

It is embarrassing to watch Republicans lift the soggy, fetid moss they’re hiding under long enough to stage a mini pageant of mock righteous indignation on President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize. What a bunch of knuckle heads. They’re always angry about something. 

Is the Prize Committee trying to encourage the cause of peace? Sure they are. Is it premature? Yep, but it is done. Let’s take it and make it work for peace.  Somebody needs to try promote peace without the use of mechanized infantry or drones packing hellfire missiles or cluster bombs. Modern warfare is a form of pornography that gratifies the deepest and darkest of bloodlusts. We need to recalculate the guns vs butter equation.

2009 Nobel Prize in Chemistry

Congratulations to the international trio winning the 2009 Nobel Prize in Chemistry-  Venkatraman Ramakrishnan, Thomas A. Steitz, and Ada E. Yonath. The three chemists won the prize for their fundamental work in characterizing the structure and detailed function of the ribosome.

I sat in on a talk at the Organic Symposium this summer where the speaker showed a bit of the work of Yonath.  The ribosome work is simply stunning in its detail and experimental prowess. Hackers like myself can only watch from a distance and admire the work.

Welsh Slate Mine

Just a quick comment on a mining related place to visit. If you find yourself knocking about in Wales, particularly near Snowdonia, it is worth taking the time to visit the Llechwedd Slate Caverns. It is quite sobering to see the working conditions the miners endured, hacking at dark rock in the flickering candlelight.

We found that the Welsh speak Welsh amongst themselves and switch to English seamlessly when you walk to the cash register to buy something. It is hard to describe the sound of the language, though I hasten to add that pronunciation gets easier when you have some Cadbury chocolate stuck to the roof of your mouth. The unique Ll characters are pronounced as a light gutteral “chl”. Imagine whispering this romantic sound as you nibble on your darlings ear under the moonlight. Hey baby …