3 March, 2026, Poltroon University Medical Center, Guapo, Arizona. University President Arnold Ziffel has announced that for the first time a human appendix has been cloned and successfully implanted into a human cell donor. This long awaited achievement holds the promise of making whole the many traumatized patients who have had their appendices removed. The recipient, Guapo resident Maize McGuffin, is recovering from her procedure and is reportedly in good spirits.

The recipients themselves donate their own stem cells from which the new appendix clone is grown. The clone can be grown in a variety of shapes and sizes to suit the needs of any recipient.

A crucial obstacle was overcome early on when a technique was found to prevent hair growth on the appendix, which was widely viewed as undesirable.