Poltroon University, Guapo, Arizona, 7 September, 2023. The Starkrakken Institute and the Poltroon University Semi-Analytical Chemistry department will partner with the National Institute of Standards headquartered in Gaither Brothers, MD, to develop new and improved specifications for the standard taper joint used in chemical laboratories. After months of meetings on the need for a disruptive change in the field, a special committee has been formed from sales managers from across the international glassware industry as well as two emeritus adjunct professors from Poltroon. MBAs from across the industry applaud this disruptive change.

This change comes at a time when the geometry of chemical glassware is evolving. The once standard circular cross-section of glassware is gradually being replaced by those with an elliptical cross section. This disruptive change started in pharmaceuticals and is gradually descending into academia.

Joint clips will need updating as well. Representatives from the Joint-Clip Injection Molders Alliance Group will convene a special subcommittee on this matter. Joint clip injection molders from across the globe will be invited to provide input. The prestigious Joint-Clip Injection Moulder’s Guild of the Faroe Islands will preside over this effort.

“University chemistry departments will complain vigorously,” said committee chairperson Deborah Ann Harry, Sales Director at Kimble-Brontes, “but they’re always bitchin’. They’ll get over it, they always do.”

There is one issue to contend with, Harry said, and “that is the inability to rotate joints with an elliptical cross-section joint.” Harry noted that this was an opportunity to offer rotating adapters as an up-sell. “We’re selling steak, not sizzle,” Harry added.