Halliburton to Take Over Management of NASA

December 12, 2008.  In an unexpected move the Bush administration has transferred management responsibility for NASA’s Constellation Project to Halliburton.  The no-bid contract was announced 10 pm Friday evening. Reportedly, Halliburton will also take over day to day management of NASA activities.

Halliburton will take immediate responsibility for project management of the new manned launch vehicle system and, eventually, lunar missions planned for the end of the next decade.

Major General (ret.) Garman Schlumpet, President of Halliburton Drilling and Space Services, declined to give details of the new arrangement, but did remark that he “looks forward to working with Mr. Cheney again” on the upcoming lunar mission.

Halliburton is expected to subcontract significant portions of project management to Blackwater Space Systems (BSS) based in Terlott, NC. Recently, the privately held BSS has denied having an ongoing development program in play to develop payload delivery systems for orbital and suborbital applications. 

However, a recently discovered shipping manifest disclosing large quantities of ammonium perchlorate being shipped into the remote North Carolina headquarters has been reported by the Mount Pilot Recorder.  A coalition of adjacent coal mine operators  claim they will file an injunction to halt the “private space program” from contaminating  their pristine mountain valley.

Reportedly, BSS is offering turnkey underground launch facilities as well as launch facility services from their  privately held volcanic island in the Caribbean Mauvaise Odeur Island chain.

3 thoughts on “Halliburton to Take Over Management of NASA

  1. Bernard

    From what I know of NASA it might be a welcome change. The scientist jobs at NASA are handed out to particular people with precise connections (uhhh cronyism?..Nepotism??). No actual scientific abilities required.

    It is not a meritocracy that’s for sure. More like an old style soviet

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  2. Uncle Al

    NASA’s obvious mistake from Day One was going normal to the geoid. Everybody knows going tangent to the geoid will get you off Earth – and you won’t need all that altitude in the interim.

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