So, this article shows up in my Google news aggregator titled “Scientists Experimenting With Quantum Effect That Some Fear Could Cause Chain Reaction That Ends Entire Universe“. My goodness, says I. How could that happen? I don’t recall signing off on that experiment. The article links to a Nature abstract by Max Tegmark and Nick Bostrom.

Abstract

The risk of a doomsday scenario in which high-energy physics experiments trigger the destruction of the Earth has been estimated to be minuscule. But this may give a false sense of security: the fact that the Earth has survived for so long does not necessarily mean that such disasters are unlikely, because observers are, by definition, in places that have avoided destruction. Here we derive a new upper bound of one per billion years (99.9% confidence level) for the exogenous terminal-catastrophe rate that is free of such selection bias, using calculations based on the relatively late formation time of Earth. Nature, 2005 Dec 8;438(7069):754. doi: 10.1038/438754a.

So, some scientists in China were fiddle-fartin’ around in the lab and decided to monkey with a theoretical phase of the vacuum. After all, a quantum computer calculation determined that it was possible. “They simulated a false-vacuum decay” to a true vacuum with a table-top experiment. Is it exothermic for spontaneity?

As of this writing they haven’t wrecked the universe. But shit man, these Poindexters presumed that playing fast and loose with the universe was A-Ok, or whatever the word is in Chinese (好的).

Alright, Tegmark and Bostrom calculated that the destruction of the universe had an upper bound of 1 in a billion years at a confidence level of 99.9 %. So, we can all relax and enjoy our lunch and spend a pleasant afternoon strolling in the spring weather and smelling the lilacs.

Upper bound?