Droppin’ your pants for chemistry

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In my career in the fabulous world of industrial chemistry, I have had to drop my pants exactly twice in the cause of business.  The first and best time was in Japan. We had just been to the science city of Tsukuba near Tokyo. After driving all day in Tokyo traffic and shuffling around at business meetings in comically small sandals, we finally ended up at what I thought was a restaurant. Glad to get out of the car, I followed my running host through the rain and into a stone building out in the countryside. But instead of walking into a dining area, we walked straight in to a locker room!

I was about to protest that I didn’t have a swim suit when it dawned on me that birthday suits were the standard dress wherever we were going. Hmmm. Lordy, I wonder if this is co-ed? Gaijin anatomy would be the featured attraction this evening.

We padded out, barefoot and naked, into a covered outdoor area and straight into the heated pool.  It was delightful. We soaked for 45 minutes and talked about business and life in Japan. All too soon, we got out, showered, dressed, and entered the dining area.

We took our positions on the cushions on the floor by the table and were treated to an incredible meal of exotic food and drink. It was highly civilized, relaxing, and memorable experience.

The next experience is the one time I had to go home without my pants. Some years ago I was making about a kg of some material in a 12 L flask. The reaction proceded normally and all was well until I tried to disassemble the apparatus in preparation for a filtration. The flask slipped from the clamp due to the considerable weight of the halide and dropped a few inches onto the benchtop. The flask broke, discharging the contents onto the hood benchtop.  I can’t say what was in the mixture, but I can say that the solvent and residual halogen were absolutely the least of my worries.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that this was beyond my ability to safely handle without a Hazmo suit and supplied air.  Somehow, in the course of this, I got a smudge of reaction mixture on my pants.  The safety manager looked at me and ordered me to remove the contaminated pants, which I did.

So there I was, standing in my boxer shorts- the ones with the orange and green watermelon print- while the safety manager was standing there shaking his head laughing. He threw a tyvek bunny suit at me and walked out.

We discontinued the reaction after that event. The hazards were just too edgy, even for me. 

Latest Additions to the Gaussling Library

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In an effort to rescue books from the pulping cycle, several new additions to the Gaussling Library have been made.

Hey Rube, Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness,  Hunter S. Thompson, 2004, Simon & Schuster ISBN 0-684-87319-2.

Comments: HST in his later years. Toggles between professional football and professional politics- two savage blood sports.

The Road to Reality, A Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe, Roger Penrose, 2004, Vintage Books, ISBN 978-0-679-77631-4. 

Comments:  Holy Moses! I hope to glean a few crumbs of insight into my pathetic Homo Chemicus brain.

Lanthanide and Actinide Chemistry, Simon Cotton, 2006, John Wiley & Sons, ISBN 0-470-01006-1.

Comments: Contains something that doesn’t seem to be taught anymore- descriptive inorganic chemistry!

Areas of My Expertise, John Hodgeman, 2005, E.P. Dutton, ISBN 0-525-94908-9.

Comments: An “encyclopedic” download from the authors brain. Here is a selection from the listing of our 51 states-

“Louisiana. Nickname: “The Emeril State”; Motto: “Bam!” Notes: New Orleans was the first city to offer indoor absinthe faucets, and indeed has always played a cosmopolitan and libertine ragtime beneath America’s generally dull Sousa march of rural piety … For while the state had been purchased by the US as part of the Louisiana Purchase of 1802, the city itself was, for obscure reasons, placed in escrow, where it remains today, technically under the jurisdiction of Gibraltar…”

On Running a Plant

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Here is a collection of thoughts on running a chemical plant, listed in no particular order.

  • Always have some extra production capacity. Don’t be tempted to book every hour of plant time with processes.
  • It’s easier to get purchase orders than you think. Corollary: It is easier to overbook a plant than you think.
  • Hire the smartest, hardest working people you can afford. 
  • Never do R&D in the plant. Consider using laboratories for that.
  • You will eventually have an incident or an accident. Make sure the HAZWOPER people drill every now and then.
  • Beware the rag layer. It will confuse the operators.
  • Hot filter cakes can ruin your whole day.
  • Somebody sit and think about how failures might be expected to propagate during an incident.
  • Don’t be an asshole.
  • Watch out for reactions with initiation lag times. They’ll getcha.  Stored energy is scary.
  • Try to get the supplier to send dry, clean solvents. Purifying solvents is always a money losing operation.  The same is true for all starting materials.
  • To the greatest extent possible, try to move solutions around rather than solids. Solids handling is always more difficult.
  • Think about where that butyllithium solution is going to go if there is a spill.
  • Try to decide early on how you would like the next disaster to unfold. This is true for all hazardous operations- plant operations, highway driving, or marriage.

I’m sure there are many more good suggestions from Bloggerspace.

C6D6

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Crap. I nearly had a heart attack the other day. Absentmindedly, I burned an NMR in CDCl3 instead of C6D6. The shifts were all cattywompus. The atropisomerism I was expecting from the amide was nearly non-existent in deuterochloroform and my aromatic peaks were all flibbertygibbet. Cripes! This was no good at all!

So, I went to a nearby diner and thought about it over a plate of hashbrowns with onions, jalapenos, and cheese. While gnawing on the breath-busting composition, the problem of solvents dawned on me like an ice cream headache. Doh!!

Romney Fires Ejection Seat

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Just when I was getting used to the possibility of an epic Mormon Migration to the District of Columbia, Mitt Romney bails from the flaming cockpit of his campaign. At least for the next cycle, we will not see young missionaries in white shirt and tie parking their bicycles at the State Department or the CIA. That Ambassador-at-Large slot for Marie Osmond will have to wait and purveyors of caffeine and intoxicating liquors can rest at ease tonight. No temple garments hanging on the line back behind the White House either.

Utah is occupied by wholesome folk with a really odd theory of the universe. Eventually their time to decorate the Lincoln bedroom will come, but not in 2009.

Sentition and the Phenomenous Object

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In his Seed article Questioning Consciousness, author Nicholas Humphrey asserts that if we are to understand the phenomenon of consciousness, we must begin to formulate better questions.  Humphrey has written on the problem of consciousness and has been be promoting some new vocabulary and arguments to address this challenge.

The basic question that people have struggled with is this: How does the brain elicit consciousness? Obviously, this is a very hard question to answer. It requires the brain to reason about its own function and within the very constraints of those brain functions.

Naturally people want to find a mechanistic picture and the notion that the brain is a processing system that accepts inputs and delivers outputs is normal. But outputs to what? Well, your consciousness- your eternal, first person, live on the scene, internal-telecast of stimulus and response.

Humphrey defines “Sentition” as real world brain activity. Presumably this includes the sum of electrical and chemical activity that operates within the brain’s distinctive architecture.  Humphrey goes on to define more language to describe our perception of sentition-

The real-world brain activity is the activity that I call “sentition.” In response to sensory stimulation, we react with an evolutionarily ancient form of internalized bodily expression (something like an inner grimace or smile). We then experience this as sensation when we form an inner picture—by monitoring the command signals—of just what we are doing.

Sentition has been subtly shaped in the course of evolution so as to instill our picture of it with those added dimensions of phenomenality. Sentition has, in short, become what I call a “phenomenous object”—defined as “something that when monitored by introspection seems to have phenomenal properties.”

While it may seem trivial, the definition of appropriate terms to describe key attributes of consciousness is critical to how we think about it. New terms may be better as they are not burdened with common usage that distract from the problem.

This article in Seed is not a seminal work. It is a short essay on consciousness and an introduction to some interesting ideas for hackers like myself who realize that the field is very significant. I believe that a comprehensive theory of consciousness is as important as the ToE the physicists are looking for- Theory of Everything.

That Pesky Brazil Nut Effect

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The Brazil Nut Effect is a type of equilibration process that granular systems with a distribution of particle sizes will undergo. It occurs with agitation and proceeds in such a manner as to result in a final state with the center of mass as low as possible. The equilibrated state results in the larger particles migrating towards the top and the smaller particles filling the void spaces down low. According to the above Wikipedia site, certain container shapes can suppress or enhance this effect.

In the merchant chemical business, suppliers strive to provide customers with the maximum quality that is feasible.  Some applications require high chemical purity and others require less purity. The trick is to pay for the purity that you need.  Excess purity is an unnecessary expense.

In many applications a chemical substance must be both chemically pure and of a certain specific physical form.  For applications where the solid must be blended to form a suspension, a slurry, or it must dissolve rapidly, a small particle size is often desirable. Particle size control and analysis is an art that many synthetic chemists can go through their entire careers and never encounter.

In the process of filtration, solids often compact along surfaces to afford flakes and angular chunks that may retain their shape until they reach the package. Lumps can arise from incomplete washing and drying and may be indicative of chemical inhomogeneity in the bulk material. 

Chemical products that are used in compounding for very exacting applications- catalysts, coatings, polymer compounding- may have specifications that require the absence of lumps in the bulk solid. Free flowing homogeneous powders can be prepared by milling or sieving or even spray drying. Compounds that are air, moisture, or light sensitive may not respond well to excessive handling. Before you accept business involving powdered products with bulk solid specs, you need to demonstrate that it is art that you can actually perform.

This is where a smart buyer is worth their weight in gold. Instead of having their own company take the burden of particle sizing, they make the vendor do it. And if the vendor fails, find another.

Where the Brazil Nut Effect seems to enter my life is when the product finally arrives at the customers facility.  If your nice powder had even a single hidden clump in it, you can bet that on arrival it has migrated to the surface to greet the frowning customer. I have received digital photographs of this from customers who wished to drive home the point. So, you just buck up and apologize as sweetly as you can manage and give them your FedEx number so they can send it back.

Send your Gluteal Scan to the FBI

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It is hard to believe with all of the “good” news lately that the US gvernment is on our side. The Bush II Y2009 budget proposal comes in at a stunning $3.1 Trillion against an estimated $2.5 Trillion in receipts.

The FBI wants to collect biometric data on US citizens. It wasn’t clear to me as to whether they want to collect this data as law abiding citizens go about their business at airports with iris scans and electronic fingerprints, or if they will limit the effort to people taken into custody.  In any case, the notion of our government collecting ever more data on its citizens should bring chills to everyone.  It is all about control. Once taken, never returned.

I, for one, would be only too happy to fax a photocopy of my biometric gluteal cleft to the FBI to post wherever it suits them. It shines like a mackerel in the moonlight. In fact, there is a protest movement I could get on board with- The Million Man Moon on Washington.

The Customs and Border Patrol agency has proposed the new “10 + 2” rule which should be a real delite to deal with. We’re already scrambling to figure out what the hell this means for the purchasing people.  Lots of detailed info will have to be timed properly to keep things moving through customs.  It’s going to be a big mess and the only benefit will be that the government will collect more duties.